CV Outtakes and alternative POV's
by mpg
Summary: Outtakes / alternate POV's for Chasing Victory DOES NOT STAND ALONE. If you are a regular CV reviewer you will have already mostly read. Occasionally I might add more or extend where I had to cut for posting as review reply if so will advise in A/N
1. Chapter 7

_For anyone who has reviewed all the chapters of Chasing Victory (and for that - THANKS!) you will have already read this "story". _

_There may be some new ones/extended ones eventually too - but if they are I will put an A/N in the top like this one to let you know they are different from the ones sent out to reviewers. _

_These will be kept about 20 chaps behind :) _

**CV Outtakes and alternative POV's **

**Chapter 7**

-BPOV-

I knew I shouldn't have done it. From the time I walked into the kitchen and broached the subject, I knew it was a bad idea. And now I was curled in a ball against the closed door of the bedroom. Even as I'd suggested to Edward that we should have sex without strings, I knew that was impossible. I knew there would be strings - for me. The same strings that had tangled around my heart and dug into it like barbed wire for years. The strings that stopped me from loving any other man, despite how hard I tried. And I had tried.

I knew what I had instigated would reopen the wounds which had never fully closed but which had at least stopped weeping with time. As I sat here in my naked shame, I realised t was too late to change that now.

But was it worth it? 'Yes' screamed part of me, the part that had taken control when I'd caught Edward pleasuring himself. The part of me that was still panting and smoking a cigarette internally, satiated for now at the feeling of another person's touch along my skin. But the other part of me, the sensible part – the mother, was asking what it meant for her. For Phoebe. Although sadly, I already knew the answer to that – and it was the same answer I'd had for years.

I'd been trying to find a way to tell Edward about her since he first sat next to me on the plane – hell I'd been trying to tell him for years, between phone calls and turning up for every fucking race meet I could get to, I'd tried hard enough. But when I saw him again I wanted so badly to tell him straight away. Yet how could I spring it on him so unexpectedly? 'You have a three-year-old daughter,' isn't exactly a conversation starter. I couldn't even think about the rest of it, that pain burned deeper than even the loss of Edward. I didn't know if I'd _ever_ be able to find _those_ words. But if I told him straight away then whatever his reaction was, I would have had to endure it for twenty-four hours. I kept trying to convince myself that maybe I would have told him if he wasn't so desperate for another seat. It wasn't just that I was a coward - he didn't even want to be in my vicinity. So I stayed silent.

And then we had talked, and gotten along and I had almost told him. But I didn't want to ruin the time we had together. So I stayed silent.

Then he raised the idea of dinner, but I wasn't sure I could face an intimate dinner with him. I suggested a drink. One drink, I'd tell him about Phoebe and then leave him to digest it and decide how he wanted to proceed. Heaven knows Phoebe doesn't _need_ him in her life. She didn't want for love or money. She was well enough provided for – especially with my new job. She had dad, and Emmett and Jake to help guide her. Jake had already decided to move to London with us if that's what I wanted to do.

But regardless of whether Phoebe needed Edward or not, he deserved to _know. _To make his choice - whatever that was. Goddammit he would have already known if he wasn't such a stubborn ass and hadn't ignored my calls. Maybe things would have been different. And now I'd ruined my opportunity by sleeping with him. He'd just told me loud and clear that he didn't want kids. So I didn't think I could break this to him. I would continue to raise her on my own, with Jake's support and that would have to be enough. I would make it enough. So now I'd have to stay silent.

A loud smashing and a dull thud drew my attention downstairs. I quickly dressed in a fresh set of clothes – my others were in the kitchen. I crept past Edward's door, it stood open and the room was empty. Fear gripped my chest as I climbed down the stairs and saw Edward sprawled, unconscious, on the kitchen floor surrounded by large shards of glass from the bottle of Chivas Regal, but no scotch – it was all gone.

I ran straight for the phone and pushed the button for emergency services. Then, as I spoke to the operator they instructed me to check his breathing and shift him into the recovery position. Then I sat by him, stroking his head, sobbing and begging him to be okay, until the ambulance came and took him to the hospital.

I had to tell him. He had a right to know.


	2. Chapter 8

_There is no difference between this BPOV & the one that was sent out to reviewers :)_

**CV Outtakes and alternative POV's **

**Chasing Victory Chapter 8**

-BPOV-

After paying for the food, and apologising to the delivery boy, I put the food away in the fridge and left Edward a note of apology. I debated whether or not to leave the photo of Phoebe. I had plenty more like it at home – it was one I got from her daycare that came in a pack of about fifteen photos, ten wallet-sized. Even after giving one to all the grandparents, and Jake, I still had a handful left. That's what decided it for me. It broke my heart to think of it but if Edward really didn't want the photo he could always just toss it into the bin.

I quickly rang for a cab and told them to meet me on the corner. I needed to get away from here as quickly as possible. Every single one of my worst fears had come true in one look. One look from Edward and my heart was shattered more absolutely than ever before. And I'd had some heartbreak.

I raced upstairs but stopped when I saw Edward's door. Closed. Like his fucking heart. He'd never allow anyone in. I knew that before, logically and intuitively. But now I knew it absolutely because of the look of pure and unadulterated hatred that crossed his features when he saw the photo of Phoebe. Of my little girl. I refused to think ours – he had no fucking claim on her. Not now. Not anymore. Not after that look. I wanted to go into his room and give him a piece of my mind but I couldn't do it – I had nothing left to give. So I walked to the other room instead and threw everything haphazardly into my suitcase. I zipped it shut and pulled it off the bed. Emmett had carried it through Sydney airport for me and Edward had carried it around Heathrow so I hadn't realised how fucking heavy it was. Or maybe that was just my heart and soul.

I trudged down the stairs, the suitcase banging painfully against my shins as I went. I still had the key from the trip to the hospital so I dropped it on the kitchen island and left. The taxi arrived about a minute after I did and I gave them the details of my hotel. I sat in the taxi with my face pressed to the glass, sobbing. This should have been the trip of a lifetime. Regardless of whether or not I decided to move here this was the first time I'd ever been out of Australia. And now I couldn't even see the scenery as it flashed away in front of me. I decided then that I couldn't do this. I couldn't move to a country on the other side of the fucking world. My family were my support network. If they hadn't been there for me...

I sighed. Things wouldn't have turned out how they did. I'd suffered a lot but I was stronger for it. We all were. And I couldn't let Edward fucking Masen fuck that up. I should have taken Emmett's advice long ago and just gotten over him – but how the fuck could I do that? Well, now I would have to. I would have to pull at every single one of those strings that tangled up my heart and use them to stitch myself back together again.

Once I'd reached the hotel and checked in the first thing I wanted to do was call my family. I knew it was early morning in Australia still but I didn't care. They would want to know this. They would protect me. Like they always did. Especially Emmett. He'd keep me safe. That's what big brothers are for.

I picked up the phone and dialled. Mum answered. I bawled as soon as I heard her voice.

"Bella? Bella, love what is it?"

"It's...it's Edward. He's here. He knows."

"Oh, sweetie. How did he take it when you told him?"

"I didn't get a chance to tell him – he saw a photo and worked it out. And then he threw me out of his apartment."

"He threw you out."

I took a minute to try to piece myself back together again, "His exact words were 'get the fuck out of my life'. Oh mum, what can I do?"

"Does he know where you are staying?"

"No, at least I don't think I said anything."

"Sweetie, you listen to me. We'll make sure he _never_ hurts you again. Okay?"

"Mmm-hmmm."

"Does he know everything?"

"No. I didn't get to talk to him before he threw me out."

"Call me if you need to – anytime, day or night. Do you hear me. Now, do what you have to do there and then come home, okay?"

"Yes." My tears were still flowing freely. "Give Phoebe my love."

"Sure thing, sweetie."

"Love you, mum."

"Love you too."

I hung up and then went to the shower. I felt so filthy. The look that Edward had given me made me feel more like a whore than anything ever had before. I sat under the water for much longer than was necessary. As I dried off I knew I had to pull myself together. I had to be strong. For Phoebe. For my family.

Fuck Edward Masen – he could go to hell.


	3. Chapter 9

**Chasing Victory Chapter 9**

_Characters (excluding original characters created for this story) are all Stephenie Meyers' creations, I'm just torturing them. I don't own them. I do however own the storyline and RCE (although I have to share him occassionally). Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it!_

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

Holy fuck.

I looked again.

Holy fuck.

One more time – maybe it would have changed?

Holy mother in heaven. This could_ not _be happening, It just wasn't possible. Edward and I had been so careful. But there was that brief moment, after he had finished, where he had been inside me completely unprotected. It was the most fantastic feeling in the world, electricity running from him through me. But then he'd left. And my life was over. Because of one extra little line of a stick. One tiny line, less than half a centimetre in length and yet it changed everything about my life. Because it meant the test was positive. It meant I was pregnant.

I could barely stand to think the word.

I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"C'mon sis – hurry up in there. Some of us have dates to prepare for."

I knew Emmett would freak when he saw this, but there was no point delaying the inevitable and I would be better having him on my side when I told mum. And dad – fuck 'Killer Charlie' would hunt Edward down for this. I reached behind me and unlocked the door. Still staring at the test on the bathroom counter. He pushed the door open after he heard the snick of the lock.

"Close it behind you." I whispered.

"What's up baby bells?" He asked, but complied with my request.

I moved over slightly to reveal the box and the stick.

"Oh fuck me – he didn't!"

"Shh, Em. I don't want the whole fucking house to hear," I hissed at him. Mum and dad were just leaving to go out to dinner.

"Is it..."

I nodded, "Positive? Yes." Tears were flooding my eyes and I couldn't see the offending line. That little line that changed so much. Emmett grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into his chest. This was one reason I loved having Emmett as a big brother – he gave bear hugs like no one's business. And they always made me feel safe – like nothing could possibly be wrong in the world. Except something was wrong. I was pregnant.

There was never a doubt in my mind that I would keep the baby. Abortion just wasn't an option for me and I couldn't stand the thought of someone else raising my child. I wanted kids – it was something I had always wanted. This was just a bit...sooner than I would have liked. Ideally I would have preferred to have finished uni, had a house and been married.

I fought my way out of Emmett's protective arms when a fresh wave of nausea hit me. He rubbed my back as I vomited into the sink.

"I'm going to kill that fucker Masen," he growled.

"Don't, you don't know how he will react."

"But it's his fucking fault."

"No – it's as much my fault as it is his."

Emmett muttered some expletives under his breath but didn't say anything further.

"Can you help me, tell mum and dad I mean?"

He dipped his head and looked into my eyes, "I'll help with anything you want. There is _nothing _I won't do for my little niece or nephew in there."

I smiled at him and pulled close to him, hugging him tightly, "Thanks Em."

"Hey, what are bro's for. Now get out of the bathroom baby bells – I got a hot date to get ready for."

Fuck. I'd have to see Rosalie and _everyone_. The whole fucking town would know before long. I'd be the subject of the gossip and innuendo. Especially from that bitch Lauren. She was always trying to get one over on me. She'd never stopped gloating since she found out Edward and I had broken up. And now I was not only alone. I was alone and pregnant.

"You alright babe?" Emmett asked.

I shook my head. I really wasn't. I felt like I was going to pass out. He picked me up and carried me into my bedroom. He laid me on my bed and grabbed a cold face washer for me. He sat by me until Rosalie arrived, and then he brought her up into my room too. I was terrified because we'd never really gotten along – she was always a class A bitch. But she raced straight over to my bed and grabbed me into a hug.

"If you need anything – help getting to the doctors, ice-cream at midnight – _anything_ you call me alright?"

I nodded.

Instead of the hot date Emmett and Rosalie had planned they sat with me on my bed. We talked about everything and by the time my parents came home Rosalie and I were firm friends. Then the three of us left my room to go and tell 'Killer Charlie' and mum the news. They were fucking pissed but Emmett yelled at them until they calmed down. I knew it was a good idea having him on my side first.

In the morning I had come to terms mostly with what was happening. Having everyone on my side helped a lot. I decided to try the number of the one person I really wanted to tell.

And I got his message bank. Again.


	4. Chapter 10

**Chasing Victory Chapter 10**

_Characters (excluding original characters created for this story) are all Stephenie Meyers' creations, I'm just torturing them. I don't own them. I do however own the storyline and RCE (although I have to share him occassionally). Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it!_

- BPOV -

I was in hell.

A hell I had firmly planted myself in.

I watched from the small coffee shop across the road from my hotel as Edward sat at the bus stop and waited, closely watching every face that passed. I knew he was waiting for me but I didn't want to talk to him. Not in the mood I was in at the moment. Not after the fucking day I had today. Not after Leah, who I was due to meet up any minute. I wanted to be free of this fucking suit before I met her and the others but it wasn't going to happen with Edward sitting there waiting.

I knew making the call to Edward's apartment last night was a mistake. I'd known it before I dialled. But I seemed to be making a lot of mistakes lately – all of them involving Edward. The biggest issue was that I didn't know what I wanted to say to him. How much I wanted to tell him. What I wanted from him or even if I wanted anything at all. All I knew was that I still loved him and needed to hear his voice. The love I felt for him was burned into every fibre of my being and would be until the day I died – even if I married a hundred other men I would still love him. Being here, away from the invective of my family, made me see that even more clearly. And each time I rang home for an update on Phoebe I found out he'd been calling for me. Regularly. After the first day, when he'd called so many times, Rosalie had taken down the number he was calling from and passed it along to me, telling me he sounded desperate to talk. I had almost cracked then and there but decided not to call him.

So the number had sat by the phone in my hotel room for four days issuing a constant siren call and finally last night I'd broken. I needed to hear his voice, if for no other reason than to wipe away the memory of that look on his face, and the venom in his voice, the last time we spoke. I knew he wouldn't be able to find me if I chickened out and hung up, the hotel lines didn't trace back to individual rooms. I'd already checked. So I'd taken a deep breath and dialled. When there was no answer I almost burst into tears.

I'd decided to try once more. If he still didn't answer it was fate and we weren't supposed to talk to each other again. As the line picked up a wave of emotions crashed over my head and stole my voice. I listened to his voice as he said hello but I couldn't answer. He said hello again and asked who was calling and I still couldn't answer. My breath was coming in rough staccato sobs. Then he said, "Bella? Is that you?" I could almost see his lips forming around my name as it fell from his mouth and I was completely overwhelmed. I hung up the phone.

And then this morning he'd been waiting for me, I hadn't realised he would come down so early. He didn't strike me as a morning person now, and I knew he never used to be. I managed to slip past him and into a taxi, but not before he saw me. I heard him shouting out my name but I couldn't turn and talk to him. Not when I had to face a day in the office.

And what a fucked up day it had been.

The office junior, Leah, was in charge of showing me around, getting me acquainted with the staff and that sort of thing. I found out she was from Australia too - she was taking a gap year before staring uni in February and had been with the firm for nine months. She was a looker too, with long raven black hair – the kind so black it is almost blue and olive skin. Her lips were big and pouty the way men seemed to like. And she had a rack that made every woman in the office feel flat in comparison. And for all of that she was actually really nice but after today I was absolutely sick of her and if I never saw her again it might just be too soon. But of course I had to see her tonight.

Tomorrow was my last day in London, I was flying back home. To celebrate that fact Leah and the other girls in the office had decided they would give me a real ocker send-off at the local Aussie bar 'The Walkabout'. I looked at Leah completely confused when she told me about the bar.

"It's really cool," she said, "It's all done up real aussie-like and they play lots of Australian sports on the TVs and stuff. It's like a real slice of home." She smiled warmly at me. When I didn't respond with anything more than a nod she kept going.

"In fact, we went there to watch Bathurst this year, just spent the whole day at the bar drinking."

I nodded politely again – not really wanting any reminders of the shit that was happening in my personal life. I only stayed for the four day trial because I still wanted to work with the firm – just not the London office.

"It's a real shame about that Edward Masen isn't it? I mean the way he's crashed out of all those races."

I closed my eyes, willing her silently to shut the hell up but knowing any reaction from me would cause the office gossip to go rife – I couldn't risk it getting back to the Sydney office.

"He's hot too. Don't you think?" She looked deeply at me, not letting me go without answering this time.

I shrugged, "I wouldn't know, I'm not really into the V8s."

"Oh my god, even if you aren't into the V8s you have to recognise how much of a sex god he is. He's so hot he's on fire. Did you see that cover of Gossip Weekly? Mum sent it over to me because she knows how big a fan I am of his. I have to say – those lucky girls."

I raised my eyebrow at her, suddenly glad of my seniority in years – I could rebuke her without it seeming personal, "You think they're lucky because they almost got screwed in the middle of a dance club?"

She giggled, "No, not the where - the who. God, I'd give anything to spend one night in his pants. I wouldn't care where it was." She leaned closer to me, looking around the make sure none of the senior associates was watching, "Apparently, he's really hung."

It took everything I had not to slap the fucking scrag across the face. I had to remind myself that this was Edward's reputation. He was a man-whore. He thought with his dick and screwed everyone possible. She didn't know he was the former love of my life and had gotten me pregnant when I was a teen.

She'd spent the next two hours going over all of his career highlights and sex scandals. Each time I tried to get away she would follow, she felt it was her duty to make me feel as welcome as possible. I wondered what she would have done if I told her that he was in London – that if I guessed correctly he was still sitting in front of the Hilton. She probably would have run straight there and thrown herself at him like a fucking puppy.

As I left the coffee shop to head off the meet everyone else I realised I was glad to be leaving here. I would be going back to the comforts of home, to my family and my little girl. And as much as I wasn't looking forward to the night out tonight, one night out with the girls was a small price to pay to be leaving London.


	5. Chapter 11

**Chasing Victory Chapter 11**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

Fucking hell!

I wondered if the universe hated me. It had to. It was the only logical reason for why Edward was at the check-in counter for the flight I was due to board. I couldn't stand twenty-four hours of his revulsion and disgust. He wasn't going to change his lifestyle. He'd made that abundantly fucking clear last night with Leah. I wonder if they would have fucked right there on the stool or if they would have had the decency to duck into a darkened corner at least.

As Edward turned away from the check-in counter with his boarding pass in hand I ducked down and hid behind the person in line just in front of me. They looked at me as if I had grown a tail. Once I saw he was a safe distance away I stood back up again. God I needed a coffee but I waited until it was my turn in the line. Luck would have it that I got the same clerk who served Edward. I put my suitcase on the scales.

"Do you know that guy you served before – the one with the copper hair?"

She blushed and nodded, ready to gush about how fucking gorgeous he was no doubt.

"He's an ex of mine and he's been a real prick to me lately," tears sprung to my eyes at the memory of last night. I knew I had no claim over him. I knew that he'd made it perfectly clear there was nothing between us time and time again, both in words and actions, but it still fucking felt like he had ripped my heart out and was devouring it whole to watch him practically fucking another woman in front of me. "Can you please seat me anywhere else but next to him?"

She looked at my face for a few seconds and then patted my hands, "I'll see what I can do, love."

I nodded and wiped the tears away from my eyes, "I just don't understand why I keep finding myself thrust in front of him."

Before I knew what was happening I had started to gush to this complete stranger all the intimate details of my past with Edward. It felt so cathartic getting it off my chest to someone who had no involvement – my family were all too busy trying to protect me to listen to any good about Edward and Edward was too busy being an ass to even listen to me.

"Here's your boarding pass, Bella." She smiled kindly at me.

I grabbed it off her and started to walk away but I turned back quickly. "I'm sorry there seems to be a mistake here – this is first class, I was only booked into business."

She winked at me, "We had a spare seat up there so I upgraded you – as soon as you go through security you can go to the first class lounge. There'll be no chance of you running into him."

"Thank-you," I said earnestly.

I walked off with my carry-on in my hands. I really needed a coffee. I wiped my face again, trying to clear the last of the tears but no doubt my eyes were still red-rimmed. I found a cafe and to my absolute horror he was in there at one of the booths. How is it that even in a plain t-shirt and a pair of sweats he can look like fucking sex on legs? It's just not fucking fair.

There was a young woman browsing the magazines at a stand next to the cafe. Her red curly hair was swept up into a high ponytail. Her tiny skirt barely covered her bottom and her shirt was so tight I could clearly see her nipples pressing forward out of it. But her face was kindly enough and I thought she might help.

"Excuse me?" I said to her. She looked up at me, startled. "Can I ask you a massive favour? My ex-boyfriend is in there and I really don't want to face him – would you be able to buy me a coffee? If you do I'll pay for your magazines." I pointed to the ones she already had in her hands.

She thought about it for a while and then nodded, "Out of interest – which one is he?" Her eyes flittered across everyone but Edward – obviously she thought he was much too far out of my league.

"The bronze-haired one."

Her mouth fell open.

"Yeah, but he's a dick."

She chuckled, "Figures – the good-looking ones always are."

"That or gay," I laughed with her but thought of Jake.

"Why's he such a dick? What'd he do?"

I sighed, "Nothing specific, he'd just fuck anything that has tits, that's all."

She nodded, and licked her lips, "What's your order?"

"A caramel macchiato."

I handed her a twenty-pound note for the drink and grabbed her magazines off her to pay for them. I was blushing as I paid the clerk after realising exactly what I was paying for – about five different 'Playgirl' style magazines. A few minutes later she came back out and we made our hand off.

I sat and drank the coffee, knowing there was still a little bit of a wait before I could go through security. I ducked my head when I saw Edward come steaming down the corridor, he was pitching a major tent in the front of his sweats and had a look of utter frustration on his face. A few minutes later the red-head came up to me again.

"You were right?"

"About what?" I asked.

"That ex of yours – he's a dick. He just wanted me to fucking suck his cock in the middle of a cafe."

I fumed. I didn't care if nothing was going on between us surely he had to learn his lesson about lewdness in public – if only for Phoebe's sake. I was suddenly glad she didn't know who her father was. What a fuckhead.

I walked to security, anxious to get through it and disappear into the first class lounge where I knew I wouldn't have to worry about seeing Edward. I risked a quick glance behind me when I was through security and I saw him coming out of the men's room looking more relaxed than he had before, at least his pants weren't straining so much. I groaned as I realised he was going to be able to see me. I could only hope he wouldn't recognise me.

"What is it love?" The security guard asked.

"Just an ex that I'm sick of running into. I know he's going to hassle me if he sees me."

"No worries, love, you get moving. I'll delay him a little."

I walked towards the first class longue. Towards sanctuary. An hour and I'd be on the plane. Twenty-four hours and I'd be back on home soil. Another two hours after that and I'd be back in Brisbane. I'd be able to wrap my little girl up in my arms and hold her tight and try my damndest to protect her from the fuckheads of this life.


	6. Chapter 13

**Chasing Victory Chapter 13**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

I stared through the windows of the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit as the nurses monitored my babies. My two precious little angels. Already three days old and I'd still never held them. That was a fact which broke my heart. They were too fragile, their little bodies had had to cope with too much. My recovery was much quicker, although I still needed the regular painkillers to stop the wound from throbbing.

I felt someone shift beside me.

"You're going to have to name them soon." It was Rosalie.

I shook my head, "Not until he calls. Not until he knows."

I heard Rosalie's exasperated sigh, "Honey, he's not going to. You know he isn't. Nothing's changed for him since the last time you tried to call him. You've been trying for months – you need to deal with this without him."

I took a deep breath, and then let it out in a huff. I couldn't disagree with her. I knew she was right, but some part refused to give up hope. He would call me back, he would know something cosmic had changed in my life, in both our lives. How could he not just _know_ these little angels were here waiting for him?

"How's she doing?" Rosalie asked, her hand on the glass of the NICU window.

I looked at my broken little angel with the wires and tubes hanging from her. I started to cry. Rosalie pulled me into her shoulder. "They say she's got days. There's no way she can survive without a transplant. She's already on constant dialysis."

"Shh, honey. We're here for you. Everything is here for you."

I shook my head, "Not everyone. Why won't he call me back Rose? What happens if he never gets to meet his little girl?"

"It will be his loss sweetie. You can't take this on yourself, not now. You need to be strong for those two."

"I just can't help thinking I should have done more to tell him."

"It's not the sort of news you can put in an email. If he's too much of a jackass to -"

I cut her off, "Please don't call him that. Just please – not now."

I could feel her anger rolling off her, none of my family understood why I couldn't hate Edward. But I knew he was scared. He had seen the light leave his father's eyes when he realised he was too old to live his dreams. Edward didn't want that. I knew that's why he left. He didn't want to feel trapped like his father. His dad, Edward senior, had apologised to me countless times for putting the idea in Edward's head. But I didn't want Edward to be trapped either. I didn't want him to feel obligated to be with me, regardless of how deeply we cared for each other. And I knew he cared for me, even if he didn't want me.

I was pulled from my reverie by action in the NICU. Suddenly the curtains were drawn and the nurses were in a frenzy of activity. I sobbed harder into Rosalie's chest. Unable to entertain the thought that this could be it. My little girl, the moon on my dark night, would be gone. It was meaningless that I would still have my son. I should have been allowed both. I had carried them and cared for them and eaten everything I was supposed to. I stayed away from everything that I should and still here I was facing the death of my precious little daughter after only three days of life.

Half hour later the Doctor emerged, "I'm sorry. He's gone."

I shook my head, "She. My daughter was the sick one."

"I'm sorry, but your son..."

The doctor continued talking but I couldn't hear anything he said. My _son_ was gone? My healthy baby. That meant I would lose them both. And then I will have lost everything that is most precious in my life. I will have lost all three of my angels. I couldn't breathe and the room started to spin. If not for Rosalie beside me I would have collapsed. But then I took a deep breath and grew the strength I needed to get through this and listened to the last of the doctor's speech.

"I know it is a lot to process but we believe he will be a viable donor for your daughter. We'll keep him on the life support machines for a few hours to let you make up your mind."

"Can I see him?"

He nodded, "You can hold him too if you like."

I scrubbed into the NICU and sat on the chair they guided me to. They gently lifted my son out of the humidicrib and placed him into my arms, being careful not to dislodge any of the tubes or wires. I wrapped his little hand around my pinky-finger. His chest rose and fell in time with the machine beside me and it was easy to believe he was just sleeping. That at any time he would open his eyes and start to cry the way a newborn should. Sitting this close to him I could see how much he looked like Edward. A perfect replica.

I closed my eyes and imagined a perfect world. It was a world where this little angel would grow-up, happy and content with both parents by his side. Edward and I putting the twins in the car to take them both home from the hospital. Standing by the gate at the school on their first day of school. Watching on sports days and carnivals – cheering them on from the side-lines. Edward teaching them both how to drive. And both Edward and my son being protective of my little girl when it came time to date. He was technically her big brother so he would do anything for her.

Eventually I opened my eyes and returned to the harsh reality of life. I kissed my son's forehead as the nurse claimed him back. I nodded, "This is his gift to his little sister. We have to do it."


	7. Chapter 14

**Chasing Victory Chapter 14**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

I don't know how it happened.

I don't know who initiated it.

I don't even really know why.

But one second Edward and I were talking in our meadow and the next his lips were on my lips. Our kiss was slow and soft. It was warm and welcoming. He tasted so divine.

He hummed against me as his hands found their way to the base of my neck, twisting into my hair. I reciprocated running my hands up the side of his face and fisting them in the hair on either side of his head.

He made no move to stop the kiss and neither did I.

He made no move to take it further, and neither did I.

Our lips dragged slowly across each other's for a long time and eventually our tongues met. This kiss was passionate and fuelled by desire. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I had kissed boys once or twice before but nothing compared to the heat, the fire that existed in this kiss. And to think I was sharing it with my best friend.

I was completely lost in him and didn't hear Emmett approaching until I heard him clearing his throat. Edward swirled his tongue around my mouth one last time before pulling away. My eyes were still closed. I couldn't acknowledge the presence of my brother. I think I was beyond acknowledging anything.

"Wow," Edward breathed.

I opened my eyes and Edward was still sitting on the grass in front of me. Both our bodies were curled in to face each other. His hands were back in his lap.

I bit my lip. His thumb came up instinctually to release it. He'd always done this when he caught me chewing on it, but somehow this time was different. This time the air crackled and his skin sparked when he touched me.

I knew this kiss had irrevocably changed my life. I would compare any future boy, if there were any, with Edward. Any later kiss with this one.

The only concern I had was what this meant for our friendship. We'd been friends for eight years. We had shared everything with each other. The disgusting slobberiness that was my first kiss – nothing as magical as what had just happened. Edward's constant rebuffing from Lauren Mallory, who I'd thought he was still crushing on. Homework, dreams, desires. Everything.

"Dad'll be home soon so mum wanted me to find you," Emmett said. "I had a feeling you would be here. But _that_ I did not expect."

I smiled as Edward dropped his eyes sheepishly to the ground.

"Five minutes, Em. I just want to talk to Edward for a sec."

"Sure 'talk'," Emmett muttered but he did walk away, out of hearing distance if we whispered.

"Um, okay, what was that?" I asked Edward, but I kept the smile on my face so he would know I wasn't upset about it.

"What – you attacking me?"

I shook my head, "I seem to recall you started it." I didn't actually, but I also knew I hadn't. It was as if some magnetic force had pulled us together during our moment of silence.

He laughed and then pulled himself to his feet. He offered me his hand and I gladly accepted, anxious for an excuse to touch him again. He pulled me straight up and into his arms, wrapping them tightly against me. He put his lips to my ear, "I don't know who started it, but I'd like to spend a lot more time doing it. If that's okay with you."

I shivered at the sensation of his cool breath against my neck. "It's okay with me."

He cupped my chin with his hand and kissed me softly again. It was almost chaste, and definitely wasn't the all-compassing kiss from before, but it was still damn good.

"Bella, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Wow." I breathed. To say I'd noticed how attractive Edward had become as he'd grown would be an understatement. To say that there was never a part of me that wanted him to issue those words would be a lie. But I had always been satisfied with our friendship, more than satisfied because I knew him more intimately than anyone ever had.

Emmett was starting to get impatient and paced back towards us.

"Wow isn't technically an answer," Edward teased, his eyes still burning into mine. Liquid green fire. I could see the same fears I had echoed in his eyes, to proceed would mean the end of our friendship as it had been. But truthfully that was gone now anyway. We could never simply ignore a kiss like that.

I nodded, "Yes, but only on one condition."

He looked worried. "What condition."

"That you'll be my boyfriend," I teased.

"That's easy."

"C'mon kiddo, before mum starts to worry," Emmett muttered.

"One more second." I stood on tiptoes and pressed my lips back to Edward's. His hand came to the base of my neck as he supported my head while he deepened the kiss. Emmett cleared his throat and Edward let go again.

"Edward, you do know what I'll do to you if you hurt her," Emmett threatened, but was smiling as well. Edward was almost a brother to him, an annoying younger brother who thought he knew too much sometimes, but they were close. They had to be with the amount of time Edward was at my house. Our parents always joked that they should just arrange a joint custody arrangement, and both sets treated us as if we were their own child.

Edward looked deep into my eyes as he answered Emmett, "I know man. But I could never hurt her. She's too precious to me." He planted one more kiss on my lips and then whispered in my ear, "I'll call you later."

I nodded unable to say anything more because I was utterly dazzled.


	8. Chapter 15

**Chasing Victory Chapter 15**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

I waited until nine in the morning. Edward still hadn't called. He had been so desperate to talk to me – to fucking marry me even for god's sake – last night and now he hadn't even called. I was struck with the familiar feeling of abandonment that I always felt when I thought about Edward. I had thought I saw something different in his eyes last night, some change which made me almost hopeful. But now it seemed like he was back to his usual habit of not talking.

I sighed. I needed to get a grip on myself. Both for my sanity and for Phoebe. I picked up my mobile and texted Jake.

_Having breakdown – need help_.

Less than a second later my mobile buzzed. _Be there in 5_.

I breathed out in relief. At least I had one constant in my life that I could rely on no matter what. It was just a shame that he left so many of my _other_ requirements and desires unmet. That was why I'd tried things with Sam – he was like Jake-lite. It was good for the short time we were together but he wasn't Jake. And he certainly wasn't Edward. He was Sam. And Sam came with this own set of baggage and his own needs. Needs and baggage I just couldn't handle on top of my own.

The knock on the door indicated Jake had arrived. I ran to meet him just as he used his key to open the door. I threw my arms around his neck. "Thank you for coming over so quickly."

"Sure thing, Bells, you know I'd do anything for you."

Phoebe came tearing out from her playroom calling "Jakey, Jakey, Jakey!" Jake swung her straight into his arms and spun her around in his arms.

I nodded in response to Jake. Sometimes I felt immensely guilty for the relationship I had with Jake. I wondered if it stopped him from finding a nice boy to settled down with, but he seemed to do alright and never complained so who was I to argue? Especially when I saw the way he doted on Phoebe.

"What's up?"

As if he really needed to ask. "Edward."

"What did he do?" Jake was already on the defensive, he put Phoebe down and was halfway out the door.

"Nothing, Jake. He hasn't _done_ anything. I just thought he'd call. I thought this time would be different."

Jake picked Phoebe back up and moved over to the couch. He laughed a little, "Bells, it's only nine o'clock in the morning. You've got to give him a chance before you give up on him."

I nodded, I knew that. But it didn't help those feelings of abandonment that crept up when I thought about Edward.

"Look, how about we drop Phoebe off with your mum and then go over to Liz's house? Give him the opportunity to talk to you on his turf so to speak. It may make him more comfortable."

"He asked me to marry him last night," I said.

A chuckle escaped Jake's lips, "Ass."

"Yeah I know."

"I'll be there if you need me but when and if you are ready for me to go just tell me and I'll leave."

I took a deep breath, "Okay, let's do this."

Fifteen minutes later we were all loaded up in Jake's car and heading for my mother's house. Another half an hour later and Jake and I were being forced to sit at the dining room table while Elizabeth Masen was forcing pancakes onto us.

"Edward's still asleep, dears."

I nodded and breathed another sigh of relief that Edward hadn't ran away, yet. We ate until Liz was happy we'd had enough and then she put the rest of the batter away and came to talk to us.

"Edward and I had a talk last night," she said, "We talked about all the reasons why I never told him about Phoebe and Emmanuel."

"How did that go?" asked Jake, reaching his hand out for her. I was glad of the relationship those two had developed since the twins birth. It made it easier that Elizabeth didn't think I was deliberately trying to freeze Edward out or replace him.

"Alright I think. I really think he's finally starting to understand what he's done and what it's cost him."

I nodded. Then I heard the shower start. My heart started to pound. Edward was awake. Fuck. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this. I felt cemented to the spot. I turned my head to the hall. I didn't know how long Edward would be but I felt all my nerves were on edge like piano wires so I couldn't do anything us but sit and stare in the direction I knew he would come from.

I heard the shower shut off and felt Jake grab my hand under the table for support. He seemed to realise that I couldn't talk right now. I felt his thumb kneading my hand. My breathing was rough. I heard Elizabeth stand and take the dishes into the kitchen but I couldn't look at her.

Finally Edward came down the hall, he had his head ducked as he dried his hair with a towel. He was wearing a pair of Klues that I recognised from high-school. And it looked like that was it. They were always a favourite for me due to their wide opening, button fly and the way they hung down low on Edward's hips. And yet despite the garish colour and square shape of them, which really brought back memories of the 90's, they were still fucking sexy.

He mumbled a 'hi' and I mumbled one back.

I couldn't help the way my eyes kept looking at his naked chest. And his six-pack. I also couldn't help the blush that rose up my cheeks. He disappeared into the kitchen for a while. Jake gave my hand a little squeeze and I smiled slightly in response. Then Edward came back out and sat across from us. Now that I couldn't see his clothing it was far too easy to imagine that he wasn't wearing anything.

He seemed as embarrassed as I felt and so he disappeared. Eventually he re-emerged with a Savage Garden shirt on that I used to wear when I slept over here unexpectedly – like when it got too late after a study session. I bit back hard on the laughter that threatened to break free at the sight of him.

He offered us pancakes again but we both refused. I indicated to Jacob that we should go into the living room, pulling him by his hand to get him moving.

"Are you alright Bells?" He asked.

"I don't know. I just feel so weak around him – like I'd fucking do anything he asked because of the way he makes me feel."

Jake sighed, "You are the strongest woman I know. You've dealt with a lot. If you want Edward back in your life you need to set the terms."

I nodded, Jake always seemed to know the right thing to say. He pulled me into his arms for a little while and then started telling me all the latest gossip from the engineering for he worked for. I knew he was just trying to distract me. I also knew he wouldn't feel bad that I wasn't listening to him.

"I'm going to go now, okay, Bells?" He asked. I knew if I protested he would stay, but I didn't want that. I needed to face Edward alone sooner or later. I nodded and Jake was gone.

I turned towards a sound and saw Edward walk over with his hand extended.

"Walk with me?"


	9. Chapter 16

**Chasing Victory Chapter 16**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

Today had been plain weird. This morning my fear was that Edward would run, but then he'd seemed reluctant to let me out of his sight. I wasn't going to complain, as such, but it was just that it went from nothing to all so quickly, and to be honest that frightened me. I was concerned that Edward would force himself back into my life too quickly, before he really knew what he wanted, and then he would run. Because that is what Edward did. That, or came out with both fists flying. His fight or flight instinct was hardwired so strongly that there was no in-between for him.

I was happy to leave our talk as it was this morning. To let it settle over Edward and give him time to decide whether or not he would proceed with the conditions I was placing on him before seeing him again. But then I heard his voice behind me and he asked me to go shopping. Not on a date, not for dinner, but shopping. I had to laugh, wondering whether he thought maybe shopping was the way to a girl's heart. But honestly he should know me better than that. It's not that I despised shopping, in fact give me the right mood, things that I needed and a great sale and I'm happy enough to go, but I don't find it an interesting way to while away the hours. But then the look on his face when I said I didn't want to go shopping broke my heart, and my resolve. He said that he had no clothes to wear, only what he took to London. I knew what that meant, that when he'd seen the birth certificate he didn't even stop to repack. My heart broke for him. Especially because I didn't want him to find out about Emmanuel that way – I was pissed off at Jake when he told me about the birth certificate trick he pulled but Jake was the sort of person it was hard to stay annoyed at for long.

In the end, after a bit of mutual teasing, I'd agreed to go shopping with Edward. We walked back to his car and I looked at it for the first time. It was a top of the line CV8 Monaro with nostrils, body-kit, genuine leather seats and a six-speed gearbox. Four years ago those words wouldn't have meant anything to me, but now they did. After the morning in the hotel room when Edward had accused me of having no interest in his interests I realised he was right and I set about fixing it. That week, before I even knew he was leaving for good, I started learning a little bit about cars. I looked shit up on the internet and read a few of Edward's magazines that he'd left at my house. I asked Emmett about shit and he helped me learn. I mean I'm no freaking mechanic or anything but at least I can look at a car and appreciate the work that's gone into it. Telling me an ET for quarter mile run or the 0-100 specs of a car means something to me. And I can go to a race meet, drags or V8 or whatever, and actually have a good time. So when Edward suggested he show me how a 'real fucking car' drives after I told him that Jake drove a Silvia I couldn't argue. And fuck it was good. The rush of flying from zero to over 100km/h in a matter of seconds felt fantastic.

And then there was the shopping. What would usually have been a torture test for me – shopping without a specific purpose – was actually fun. I'd had a hard time in the shops at first, because Edward insisted on trying everything on and just thinking of him undressing behind the doors of those change rooms was enough to make me almost spontaneously combust. I'd seriously need to get my desire in check if we were going to go down the friends and try dating track.

After an hour of traipsing through the shops Edward had declared it was time to go home. I checked my watch and knew that mum would probably be anxious by now. But she knew what I was doing and so did Jake. She'd ring Jake if she was worried about the time or needed Phoebe picked up. And truthfully, I'd been having such a good time that I didn't want it to end, so I suggested getting something to eat.

On the way home Jake called me to let me know he had Phoebe and was taking her home because mum needed to go shopping. Edward had asked about Phoebe and Jake's relationship and I'd told him as much of the truth as I thought he could handle. Jake was a substitute father for her. He didn't live with us but some weeks he almost may as well have. He was always there for her, picking her up from mums or daycare when I was at uni or work. And he'd agreed to relocate to London or Sydney, whichever I picked when the Pembleton's offer had come up. Although I think he was secretly relieved that that I'd decided not to go to London.

And then Edward had done the one thing I'd been both hoping for and dreading. He'd asked to meet Phoebe. I would have preferred he got himself together a bit more first but I'd long ago decided that if he asked, and meant it, I would never refuse him seeing her – even if she wasn't told exactly who he was. But in his request I knew my fears were right. He'd already stamped his presence back across my heart too strongly to ignore. Now all that was left was for the shattering when he left.

I had stood with Phoebe in my arms listening to their stuttered conversation, watching Edward's face closely. His discomfort was so evident and made me anxious. And then Edward did what Edward does – he ran. Only this time he gave me a shred of hope, a skerrick of relief when he said he would see me later. Maybe I was drawing too much hope from those words, maybe that hope would leave me shattered. But then he'd kissed my cheek. And then he'd kissed hers.

I had to hope I would see him again, because there was no certainty in this situation so hope was all I had.


	10. Chapter 17

**Chasing Victory Chapter 17**

-Jake POV Reviewer Scene -

February 2005

Before I even pulled into the carpark I was running late for class. I was usually fairly punctual, especially on important days like the first day of semester but today had thrown me a loop. I'd had a huge fight with my boyfriend before leaving the house this morning and I'd thrown him out on his ass. No one lies to me or cheats on me and gets away with it. He's just lucky I'm not violent by nature so he still had all his teeth.

Then to make matters worse my bike wouldn't start so I had to take my VW Golf which I'd spent the last few years restoring. I really wanted to upgrade to something with a turbo but my Golf was my baby at the moment. And I had to drive it to Uni where it could be scratched and dented by any number of idiots. I pulled up in the car park and saw a girl climbing out of a TC Cortina – it was standard but could be made beautiful with a bit of a tidy and some detailing. It was surprisingly rust free for such an old car. I walked past admiring the view, even the interior was in perfect condition.

My eyes flicked to the girl quickly, she looked terrified. Her eyes downcast but her chin held high, as if daring anyone to call her out on her fear. She was a walking contradiction and I found myself being drawn to her. But the thing that was most apparent was the slight bump that stuck forward from her slender frame. If I didn't have two older sisters who'd both been pregnant I probably wouldn't have noticed. But I did and it made me wonder who she was, why she was pregnant and why she'd decided to start uni despite it. I didn't want to ask straight out though – I knew girls well enough to know you didn't ask things like that if you wanted your balls intact.

"Hi, do you need some help?" I asked.

She looked at me and then shook her head slightly, looking down towards her map. "No thank you," she mumbled eventually.

Suddenly she dropped her books and ran to the bushes alongside the car park. I heard the sounds of her breakfast being ejected and decided that now I could call her out on it. I collected her books up for her and walked over to her. She was sitting on the sidewalk with her head between her legs.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, it's just a stomach bug."

I scoffed and she looked up at me with those terrified eyes. It was almost as if she expected insults to be hurled at her. I knew what that meant. I sat next to her, stuff my class. I could be late. "He's not around anymore, is he?"

"I don't know who you're talking about."

I shrugged. "Fine, if that's the way you want to play it."

She glanced at me again, but this time with surprise and gratitude.

"I'm Jake."

"Bella."

"Nice to meet you Bella. Now I get we're not talking about it or acknowledging it , but how many weeks?"

She smiled and I vowed then to make her do it more often. She was a good person and warmth radiated from her when she smiled. "Seventeen."

"You're not going to be able to hide it for much longer."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not trying to hide it, I just don't like the questions."

"It's not your fault if he's not man enough to hang around."

"Thanks for the sentiment, but it's not that simple. He doesn't know."

I scrunched my eyebrows. I knew I didn't really know the girl but I was a pretty good judge of character and she didn't seem the sort to hide that sort of secret from someone. But she didn't seem like the sort to have a one night stand either. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what happened?"

She chuckled. "School formal."

I nodded. "But why doesn't he know?"

"I can't get in contact with him. He won't answer his phone."

"Have you tried email?"

She laughed darkly. "Yeah I tried that a few weeks ago."

"You put it in an email?" I was only half joking.

"No, I just sent an email saying that I needed to talk to him urgently and could he please call me."

"And what? No response."

"Oh, I got a response alright." Her voice was thick with tears. Welcome to the mercurial moods of pregnancy.

"So why didn't you tell him then?"

"No, you misunderstand me. I got a response. On email. With photos and video attached of him fucking three other women. At once. And a message that said I could go fuck myself because he wasn't interested in talking to me."

"Sounds like an ass."

"He's just having a hard time at the moment. He's made some big changes in his life and I don't think it's worked quite the way he hoped."

"Are you kidding me? You're sticking up for him?"

She just shrugged. "I know that wasn't the real him. I know the real him. He's sweet and kind and would do anything for me. I have to believe that one day he'll find himself again. And when he does I guess I'll be waiting."

"You can't wait around forever. You're little one in there will need a father of some sort."

She stiffened. "I have an older brother, I have a father, they'll be there for both my little ones."

"Twins. Wow."

She nodded. "Anyway, Jake, it was lovely to meet you – I'm sorry about..." she looked at the bushes.

I shrugged. "I have two older sisters who've been through it."

I saw a guy pull up on a Harley and started to salivate. Both over the bike and the boy. Bella laughed beside me, looking even more relieved and at ease than she had a second ago.

"What?" I asked.

"I didn't realise. I thought you were hitting on me."

I laughed in response. "Sorry, you don't have the necessary equipment for me in that department but if you're offering I'd love your number to talk to you again." I got to my feet to go over and talk to the hottie on the Harley. I turned quickly to help her to her feet. She quickly jotted her number on a scrap of paper and then kissed my cheek lightly as she pressed it into my hand.

"Later then, Jake."

"Later, Bells."


	11. Chapter 18

**Chasing Victory Chapter 18**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

I waited in a place I had only ever seen from the distance or on TV. The smell of petrol fumes and warm rubber filled the air. I knew he would be back soon and I waited for him with baited breath.

"Three more laps," someone whispered behind me. I couldn't turn to see who it was because I didn't care. They weren't him and he had my entire focus right now.

Each second that passed ramped up the excitement and the anticipation.

"He's coming in."

I raced past the crew and waited. I was standing right in front of the spot he would stop. I didn't care that I wasn't wearing a fireproof suit, I had been waiting for him to return for too long for a trivial detail like that to bother me. His car came in with perfect control and stopped less than a metre from where I stood. The crew jumped to life changing the tyres and fuelling it up but I didn't care about that, only one thing had my focus.

He unhooked himself quickly, he seemed as anxious to get to me as I was for him to arrive. As soon as he left the car he took off his helmet and dropped it to the ground. Then he pulled his balaclava off his head. He tugged his fingers through his hair quickly and somehow it was perfect despite the hours spent under his helmet in the blistering heat of the car.

I watched as he walked towards me, seemingly in slow motion. The red and grey fire-proof suit he wore clung tightly to his body. His defined muscles were evident even beneath its thick layers. There was both strength and grace in his movements as he strode quickly towards me. His arms were outstretched and his lop-sided smile danced on his features.

Seconds later I was being pulled into the only set of arms I craved. I was in the only place that ever felt like home. I looked up into his face, preparing to feel his soft lips on mine. Ready to be swept away by this god that by some lucky chance deemed me worthy of him.

I closed my eyes and leaned in towards him. I didn't feel the warm lips I was expecting. His lips barely grazed mine and they were cold. Colder than stone. I opened my eyes and instead of the warm caring boy I had expected to see there was a cold man. Cold and hard like a marble statue. He was closed off from me and his face twisted into a mocking smile. He dropped his arms from my side and held them out in invitation for the grid girls.

I took a step backwards as they all started to laugh. Then I took another step away from him. With each step I took he seemed to become a little less cold, a little more like the boy I remembered. His eyes turned pleading, begging me to come back to him. But I'd opened myself up to him only to be hurt. I turned and fled from the pits.

"Who's running now?" His voice called from behind me.

* * *

I woke in a cold sweat. This type of dream was not unusual for me and I shouldn't have been surprised after the day I had. I was surprised that so much could shift and change so quickly. We'd gone from strangers this morning, to friends this afternoon, to, well, I don't know what you'd call us now. I didn't know where we stood.

I heard a male voice through the darkness and it reminded me where I was. "Are you alright?"

I must have been screaming before I woke up. I'm just glad I didn't wake Phoebe up.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll talk to you in the morning okay."

"Yep." He was obviously tired and I heard his footsteps disappear back down the hall.

I lay awake staring at the ceiling. I knew what my dream was about. The setting might be different from others I'd had but the theme was the same. It was the fear that if I opened myself up to Edward I would get hurt.


	12. Chapter 19

**Chasing Victory Chapter 19**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

I lay awake thinking about my nightmare when I heard a tapping on my window. I flicked open the curtain and peered out the window. I was surprised to see Edward's face staring back at me. I held the curtain open with one hand as I slid the window open with the other.

"Edward, what are you still doing here?" I was sure he'd left earlier, but then again I hadn't confirmed that with Emmett who was the last one back in the house. I felt bad for leaving Edward outside with Emmett but I had to have some time to think over his words. I couldn't say they surprised me, I knew that was the case. But after him professing how much he had always cared for me it did shock me a little.

"I've been waiting for you to come back out, so that I can explain."

"Just ring me here later." I really didn't want to discuss it further while he was drunk and especially not after the dream I'd just had. I knew it would be better if we waited until morning.

"Will you talk to me?" he asked.

I wasn't sure why he wanted clarification on that but I thought about today. Since arriving at his house this morning we'd seemingly been unable to separate. Even when we did we were drawn back together again almost instantly. I nodded. "Yes. For some reason I can't avoid you even if I want to."

"If that's what you want," Edward said. He seemed sad, almost rejected somehow.

I wondered about the reason for that but before I could query him he was gone. I called after him a few times but he didn't turn. I dropped the curtain and quickly searched for my dressing gown. I slipped it on and ran for the front door. I knew his car wasn't in front of the house and I wasn't sure how he had got here.

Once I was outside I ran to the end of the street. I looked both ways but couldn't see his outline anywhere. I heard a car start up and knew it was his. It was as if there was some part of me that recognised and remembered sounds that related to him no matter how few times I had heard them.

I tried to wave down the car as it drove past but he didn't see me – or he was ignoring me.

I walked slowly back up to the house. My energy was depleted after my brief chase. I relocked the front door behind me and climbed into bed. I grabbed my mobile from the bedside table and debated. Should I call him or not? The only number I had was his mother's home number and I didn't want to disturb her at this ungodly hour of the morning if Edward refused to answer the phone.

I had so many unanswered questions. Why had he run like that? What had I said to make him leave? And that now familiar question I had been asking myself all day. Where did this leave _us_?


	13. Chapter 20

**Chasing Victory Chapter 20**

-APOV Reviewer Scene -

From the first time I saw Jasper Whitlock I just knew.

I just knew he was an arrogant ass.

I started with Cullen Racing about a month after he did. He came straight in as the junior driver for the V8 supercars. He regarded the fact that he didn't have to spend any time in the production cars proof of how good a driver he was. I'd been around Uncle Carlisle enough to know that production car drivers were no less skilled.

He was utterly conceited. He pissed up a good portion of his pay every week. And of course women fawned over him. It wasn't unusual for him to have two or three dates lined up per weekend. He would brag about how many of them he bagged on the Monday, it was rare the he didn't claim a complete whitewash. If you believed him his bedpost notches counted well into the hundreds.

And yet, for all of that, I also knew I was drawn to him.

When I first started working alongside him as a race strategist he asked me out but I had to turn him down. There was no way I was going to be just another score for him. From then on we had a professional relationship. But that was until the Masen kid started. Poor boy seemed so lost when he first started and he worshipped Jasper. So it was only natural he would fall into the same patterns as Jasper. He went from sweet boy to arrogant ass in 4.5 seconds flat.

I confronted Jasper about it. Both about his own behavior and the impact it had on Edward. To my surprise he actually ended up admitting he was tired of the lifestyle and wanted to settle down with one particular girl. Me.

If I had time to hope that Jasper cleaning up would stop Edward I was wrong.

In truth I felt sorry for poor Edward. It was no secret in the office that he was avoiding someone from Brisbane. At first every time his mobile would ring he would scowl at the display before hanging up on the caller. Then the calls to the office started. Bella was the girls name. She always sounded so lovely and I couldn't understand what had happened between the two of them. But it wasn't my place to pry so I tried not to. Then Elizabeth, Edward's mother, had contacted me to see if I could help arrange a surprise visit. It didn't go according to plan.

Then he started turning up to work under the influence. And that was when I decided that enough was enough. I confronted him and he seemed to improve. He started seeing Dr Laurent and was straightening himself out. Of course he was still a man-whore and pissed up every weekend but at least he was sociable at work and stayed off the drugs. After he'd been with us for twelve months he had become a cheeky sot that everyone fell in love with.

He was doing well.

At least until he started to crash whenever he hit race conditions. That was when we realized maybe he wasn't quite as together as we all thought.


	14. Chapter 21

**Chasing Victory Chapter 21**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene -

My mobile phone rang. It was my generic ringtone so I wasn't sure who it could be, most of my family had a dedicated tone. I stared at the number on the screen but that didn't provide me with any answers. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, it's me."

Edward's voice alone was enough to send my heart skipping, but I couldn't forget about his performance last night. Turning up drunk and worse - driving away drunk. "Mmmm-hmmm, so you finally picked up a phone and called me."

"Yeah. Sorry. I know, I'm only four years late."

I couldn't help the laughter that escaped before I could stifle it. "What do you want?"

"You asked me to call." His voice was contrite.

I needed to collect myself before he had me as putty in his hands again, but it was true, I had asked his mum to have him call me. "Right. Do you care to explain what the hell that was about last night?"

"Bella, I'm sorry. I just... fuck, I don't even have an excuse. I fucked up."

I wasn't sure how I felt about his apology. I didn't think it was enough. I needed to know that he understood what he was apologising for, that he couldn't just go out and get drunk like that. "I thought you'd agreed to try."

"I did, Bella. I am. I just fucked up. Please, let me try to make it up to you? And to Phoebe?"

His words reminded me of his drunken ramblings. He was right – he may not remember them, but I did. "Did you mean what you said?"

"When? About trying? Didn't I just say I did?"

"No, last night at Emmett's. Did you mean what you said?"

"Bella, I have to be honest with you – I can't remember what I said last night. The last thing I can clearly remember is..." he trailed off and I could tell it was because he didn't want to remind me. Which meant he did understand a part of why I was upset.

"Getting drunk?" I finished.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I'm sorry about that. I..." He paused. His voice was thick when he spoke again. "Look, can I take you out to dinner?"

"What about our agreement?" I hoped he would understand what I was referring to. I really felt he needed some help, help I wasn't able to give.

"Already had my first phone call." He sounded pleased with himself.

"Really? When."

"We finished about five minutes ago."

"And?"

"And what? You expect him to fix all my fucking problems in one hour?"

I laughed. "No, I guess not. When are you talking to him again?"

There was silence on the line. Then a whispered, "Tomorrow."

"So soon?"

"Yeah, we agreed that it would be best for me to talk to him daily for the moment."

"Mmmm-hmmm and that decision was in no way influenced by _our_ agreement?"

"Maybe just a little," he admitted.

I worried my lip between my teeth. I wasn't sure how I felt about this revelation. He may have said 'just a little' but he was really saying everything.

"I'm not going to hold you to go date for session, Bella. Of course I'd like to see you as much as possible, but I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to." His voice was so earnest and pleading it was impossible to refuse.

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Okay."

"So, can I pick you up tonight? I mean if that's okay with you?"

I panicked. Tonight. It was so soon. It felt like everything was moving so fast – too fast. Besides, between the two weeks I'd spent between Sydney and London I hadn't spent a lot of time with Phoebe lately. I felt guilty asking anyone else to babysit her and I didn't really want to anyway. "What about Phoebe? I'm not going to palm her off on people every night. She's my daughter, I want to spend time with her too."

"Bring her too."

I managed to stifle the giggle this time, a romantic dinner and a three-year old? "Edward, have you ever gone out to dinner with a three-year-old? It's not much fun."

"An early dinner then? Don't worry Bella, I'll sort it out."

"If you say so." I may have been able to stifle the giggles but the amusement was no doubt clear in my voice.

"What time?"

"Five."

"Looking forward to it, Bella."

"See you later, Edward."

I hung up the phone and wondered, not for the first time, how had Edward crashed back into my life – and what it meant for everyone.


	15. Chapter 22

**Chasing Victory Chapter 22**

-BPOV-

I knew there was a shirt that would fit Edward in Jake's room, in fact Jake's shirts would probably be slightly too big – but they would do. So I hunted quickly through the cupboard and grabbed one. I walked back into the hall and pulled the bedroom door shut. I raised my head just in time to see Edward walking towards the living room. I gasped when I saw the bandage patch on his back. I wondered what he had done to himself. The bandage was huge – stretching between his shoulder blades.

"Edward? Did you hurt yourself?" I asked. I was overcome with concern for him. It was not a place you could accidentally hurt yourself. I raised my finger and ran it gently along the edge of the bandage. My skin sparked to life as it touched his.

"Um, no. I ... ah... I..." his voice trailed off, and when he spoke again it was a whisper, "I got a tattoo."

"You what?" I asked incredulously. "When?"

"Today. Do you want to see?"

I realised that my hands were still tracing the outline on his back. Judging by the size of the bandage the tattoo must be huge - at least 20cm across. I couldn't help it that my mind immediately went to his spontaneous proposal his first night back in Brisbane. 'Oh god, don't let him have done something stupid', I thought to myself. "Should I be scared?" I asked concerned. "You didn't do anything crazy did you?"

He surprised me by laughing. "Besides get a tattoo in general? No."

I had to admit I was curious. I wondered what was so important to him that he wanted it permanently marked on his body. And so big. There would be no way to hide it when he didn't have a shirt on. Like now. I held my breath and pulled the bandages away from him skin as gently as I could. The design was still a little red and a little bloodied but it was clear. I gasped when I saw the horses and the date. I didn't know if he realised why we chose the horses for Emmanuel's tombstone. Regardless of whether he did or didn't, the fact that he had cared enough to take that image and etch it onto himself permanently made my heart ache and soar simultaneously. The horses were done in a tribal style and looked so strong and everlasting, yet there was something fragile in the way the lines split and curled. I noticed the lettering inside each of the horses. A 'C' and a 'P'. Castor and Pollux. He remembered the story. Every emotion I had ever felt about the loss of Emmanuel came flooding back to me. I was so lost in the sea of grief. I could barely move and I couldn't trust myself to speak. I pressed the edges of the bandage back down again.

"Bella?" Edward asked, turning around. I could hear the concern in his voice.

I finally found my voice but didn't trust it to remain steady so I whispered, "It's beautiful. Why did you do it?"

"I wanted a permanent reminder of my children."

He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. But it hadn't been obvious to me until this moment just how much he really was willing to accept Phoebe into his life. Exactly how much he regretted not being there for Emmanuel. I dropped my arms and fell into his. The waves of sorrow crashing over me were so strong I was going to get lost if I didn't hold on tightly to someone. To Edward.

Edward manoeuvred us both over to the couch and held me to him as I sobbed. Finally I regained enough composure to stop the tears.

"Do you mind?" he asked. I knew he was referring to his tattoo again.

I shook my head. "Are you sure you're not going to regret it?"

"Never." His voice was vehement, and I believed him. "I only have one regret now."

I couldn't ask what. If he said leaving me, it would break me. If he said anything else, it would break me.

"Was tonight okay?" he asked.

I thought about it, glad to have something else to consider before I went mad. I thought about the date. It was... sweet. Edward had made some rookie mistakes with Phoebe, but considering he'd only found out he was a father a little over a week ago that was to be expected.

"It was a start," I said. I smiled at him through the remnants of my tears. "Although, why did you give her that second thickshake?"

He ignored by hypothetical question. "A start is good?" he asked.

"Yeah, it is." I said, and it was.

A start was new, fresh and didn't belong to the heartache of the past.


	16. Chapter 23

_AN:- This scene is slightly longer than the BPOV I sent to reviewers, nothing major... just a few extra para's at the front. _

**Chasing Victory Chapter 23**

-BPOV-

A loud beeping sound broke the silence in the house. The washing machine was telling me it was finished with its load. It was enough to bring me to my senses and break my focus on Edward.

I stood, climbing off him quickly as I realised what I was doing. It was too early to be doing this. Too early to be pushing _us _this far. London was a one-time thing, and it had ended in disaster. "Oh, shit," I said, realising what a mistake we'd almost made.

I stood in front of Edward, quickly smoothing my shirt back down and trying to tame my hair. It was still tingling from the presence of Edward's hands. I looked at Edward, his face almost calling me back to him but I resisted. My eyes slid down the length of his reclined, shirtless, body. The reached his middle and I felt my blush rise. His _excitement_ was obvious.

I walked towards the laundry, noticing Jake's shirt on the ground which I'd obviously dropped before. I decided things would definitely be easier if Edward had a shirt on. I heard him walking just a few steps behind me so I picked it up and threw it in his general direction.

I opened the lid on the washing machine just as Edward came in to the room. "Why do you have a men's shirt?"

I looked at him, wondering whether he'd paid attention to anything I had ever told him. "It's Jake's."

"Why do you have Jake's shirt then?" His voice was hard, his tone ringing with jealousy.

I rolled my eyes. Seriously did he ever listen? Did I have to get 'Jake is gay' painted on my forehead? "You are kidding me aren't you?"

"What?"

I reached into the washing machine to pull out the clothes. "You aren't seriously still jealous of Jake, are you?"

My hand touched on something that I instantly recognised as a towel, I shifted it and saw Edward's shirt - covered in pilling. I huffed and, for the third time in as many minutes, wondered if he ever listened to me. "Seriously. You never listen properly do you?"

"What?"

"I said to put the towels in the basket and your shirt in the washing machine."

"So?"

"What did you do?"

He was silent for a minute and then blushed. "Sorry."

I held up his shirt for him to see.

"What happened to _that_?" Edward asked as I held up his shirt, it was covered with multi-coloured pilling.

"_Someone_ put towels in the washing machine with it."

"Oh." He seemed genuinely surprised.

I twisted it in my hands. There didn't seem to be any colour run or permanent damage. "It might be salvageable," I said. I threw it into the dryer on its own. "Hopefully this will get rid of some of that pilling." I cleaned out the lint tray and started the dryer.

"Thank you for this. I don't know what I would have done otherwise. Probably left that for mum to do in the morning."

I laughed and shook my head, I'd come to a blinding realisation. "You are pretty clueless about all things domestic, aren't you?"

"I'm pretty clueless in lots of things. But I'm trying." He held his arms out in invitation to me.

I watched him for a minute, then I nodded. "Yes. You are trying."

I stepped into his outstretched arms and wrapped my arms around his waist. I pressed my face against his chest. I felt at home. His head rested against my head. My breath came in long, shaky gasps. Too soon he dropped his arms and stepped back.

"Bella, I'd better go."

Something twisted in the pit of my stomach. Was he going to run again. "Why?"

He reached his hand forward and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes and sighed as his skin trailed fire through mine. When I opened my eyes again he was smiling down at me.

"That's why," he said. "I don't think we should..." His eyes trailed down my body, leaving me breathless.

I nodded, I knew what he was going to say and he was right. "No, we definitely shouldn't, at least, not yet."

I stood on my tiptoes to press my lips to his.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked, and my heart inflated. "Only if you want to though," he added quickly.

"Sure," I breathed. It was the most I could manage – I was left utterly breathless by the swell of love I felt. "You'll need to come back to get your shirt anyway."

"Oh, and while I remember, are you free on Saturday?" he asked.

"Why?"

"I want to take you somewhere, just the two of us. Then I'd like us to go out on Sunday, as a family."

I knew Emmett and Rosalie had plans for Saturday night and it was the first Saturday in a long time that Dad wasn't working so I didn't want to ask Mum. That only left Jake and I wasn't sure how Edward would feel about that. I didn't want to frighten Edward off by forcing Jake onto him sooner than necessary. I shook my head. "I don't know if I'll be able to get a babysitter at such short notice."

"Mum's going to do it," he said. "That is, I asked her if she would mind if no one else could do it."

I was shocked. Elizabeth never had Phoebe on weekends, we had long ago come to an unspoken agreement about it that neither of us acknowledged.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"Your mum agreed to have Phoebe on a weekend?" I asked.

"Yeah. I mean I thought you said Phoebe went around there a bit, so I..." he trailed off. A look of concern crossed his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd mind."

"I don't as such. It's just... you mum doesn't usually watch Phoebe on weekends, that's all."

"Why not?"

"No reason I guess."

He cupped my cheek. "There is a reason, what is it?"

I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. I squeezed my eyes shut. "Please don't... don't make me explain. Not now."

He paused, I could sense the outburst building, but he surprised me. "When you are ready, I'll be here."

"I hope so," I whispered. Hearing promises of the future made my stomach twist into a knot. I just couldn't trust him, not completely.

"No, not hope so," he said. He put his finger under my chin and looked straight my eyes. "Bella, when you are ready. I _will _be here."

I looked at him, wishing desperately I could get rid of the nagging doubt, but knowing it was there to protect me. I'd been through the pain of him leaving once. I didn't know if I would survive it again – not if I surrendered myself completely.

"I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere." He emphasised each word. It was important to him for me to trust him.

I nodded and ignored the twisting. "Okay."

He pressed his lips gently to mine again. "I'll see you tomorrow. Call me when you are ready for me to come over."

I smiled. "Okay, Edward, and... thanks."

I threw myself into his arms and kissed him goodbye. I stepped back, tasting him on my lips. I leant back against the washing machine to help me stand upright.

He smiled and then he was gone.

I thought back over the night. So much seemed different. Edward seemed different. I was right, he wasn't the same boy who I'd been in love with. But he was a man I could easily fall for. I just couldn't help wondering what happened when the grand gestures finished and it was just a normal life. Could Edward do normal? He was trying, I could tell he was. I just didn't know how long I would be able to keep him interested in the sort of life I could offer him.

I stood in a daze until the dryer clicked off and startled me back to reality. I quickly pulled Edward's shirt out and hung it on a hanger. Then I threw the towels in. I couldn't be bothered hanging them on the line right now.

I checked in on Phoebe. She was fast asleep with a smile on her face. The memory of Edward's tattoo came to my mind. I couldn't wait to see it completely healed and uncovered. It was such a sweet gesture and kindled that small fire of hope that still existed within me. I pulled Phoebe's door shut and walked to my room.

My lips still burned with the memory of Edward's kisses. I was wholly unsatisfied, and I had an almost painful longing for him. No man had ever been able to satisfy me the way he had, I hadn't even let them try. The worst part was I'd only been with him twice. One time was an unqualified disaster that still made me smile. The other was the greatest fucking night of passion I'd ever experienced.

I pulled open my pyjama drawer to get a change of clothes and saw the toy Rosalie had packed into my suitcase before I left for Sydney. I'd thrown it in this drawer to forget about it. I still couldn't believe Edward had seen it in London and assumed I used it regularly. I was gone for two weeks – as if I couldn't go two weeks without sex. Hell, I'd gone much longer than that. I shook my head, grabbed a pair of shorts and sleep shirt, and pushed the drawer shut.

As I changed, I couldn't escape the memory of Edward and his lips. I looked back at my chest of drawers and chewed my lip.

The thought of London and that thing he'd done with the ice filled my head. I was dry-mouthed and breathless just thinking about it, the longing a definite, painful ache.

I sighed and walked over to lock the bedroom door.

Then I pulled open my pyjama drawer again and reached my hand inside. No point letting a perfectly good toy go to waste.


	17. Chapter 24

**Chasing Victory Chapter 24**

-BPOV-

I woke early the next morning, feeling particularly unsatisfied. I had scratched my itch with the toy but it had nothing on the real thing. Just the thought of Edward's warm hands on me, his soft lips brushing against my skin, his body pressing tightly to mine, made me ache for his touch. I rolled over and tried to push thoughts of him out of my mind. It would do my sanity any good to dwell on thoughts of him. Especially not of thoughts of him in his race suit, the top half loose around his waist and a white t-shirt clinging to his chest. And definitely not thoughts of him pouring just a little water over himself to cool off. I also should not think about him running his hands through his hair and giving a lop-sided smile. And if I valued my piece of mind I should definitely not think about peeling that white t-shirt slowly up off his head.

I sighed as the fire inside ignited again. I knew nothing would satisfy me but Edward. But I also knew I couldn't go back there – not yet. Despite everything that happened last night, despite the obvious attraction we felt for each other. I still couldn't trust him. It wasn't that I didn't _want_ to trust him. I just couldn't. Since his return my sleep had been plagued with dreams and nightmares. I knew it was my heart battling my head. Or maybe it was just my inner wild-child battling my inner mum because neither my heart nor my head seemed willing to take a hard-line stance. I knew making a firm decision one way or the other would be the only way to get Edward out of my dreams. But both direction seemed right, and both direction seemed wrong.

I glanced at my watch. Based on his form so far I doubted Edward would be up yet. But maybe that meant I could get away with a quick phone call to Elizabeth. I needed to make sure she really was fine about having Phoebe over the weekend.

The phone only rang twice before it was picked up. During those two rings I panicked about what I might say if Edward was the one who answered. My heart hammered loudly in my ears.

"Hello?" It was Elizabeth.

"Hey, Liz. It's just me."

"Bella, how are you going, hun? How's Phoebe going, is she feeling better?"

I laughed. "Edward told you about that did he?"

"Yeah. She's not coming down with anything is she?"

"No, she'll be fine," I said, stifling a giggle at the memory of Edward's panicked cleaning of the car.

"I'm glad to hear that. Did you want Edward? He's still in bed."

"Actually, I was kind of hoping I could talk to you."

"About the weekend, I guess?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm happy for you to have her – you know I'd never keep her away from you, it's just..."

She cut me off, "I know, love."

"He's not going to be there is he? I just don't like the way..."

"No, don't worry. He won't be here over the weekend. He's got other plans."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Elizabeth continued, her voice falling to a whisper. "I know. It'll be fine. In fact, it'll be nice spending some time with her."

"So you're sure it's okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," Elizabeth said, reassuringly. Then her voice dropped even lower, "Listen, I know it's not my place but I'm glad you two are trying. You are good for him."

"I want to believe that, Liz. I really do. Do you know he told me he wasn't going anywhere."

She gasped. "He didn't."

"I want to believe him..."

Elizabeth cut me off again. "Bella, I've got to go."

"Sure," I said, surprised. "Can you tell Edward I'm ready whenever he would like to come over."

"No, problem. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone feeling more than a little confused.


	18. Chapter 25

**Chasing Victory Chapter 25**

-Bella POV Reviewer Scene –

Jake had been over for about an hour when I heard an engine stopping in front of the house. I recognised it as Edwards – although I still couldn't say how. I walked around to the side gate to tell him to come round – he was going to have to get used to Jake sooner or later anyway. But I took one look at him in the driver's seat and turned to Jake. "It's Edward. I think you'd better take Phoebe to your room – put on the Wiggles or something. I think this might be messy."

"What do you mean?" Jake asked.

"I've only seen him like this one – at Emmett's."

Jake knew immediately what I meant. He took Phoebe inside through the back door while I went through the side gate and to Edward's car. He was barely breathing, deep sobs wracked his chest. His eyes were unfocused and red-rimmed. It was a miracle he'd been able to make it here. I wondered where he'd been, and what had happened, to put him in this state. I opened his door for him and he looked vaguely at me, the smell of alcohol rolled from the car. He leapt from the car and clutched himself to my chest as sobs over took him again. I guided him back into the house as best as I was able. When we got to the couch he curled himself into the foetal position with his head in my lap. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldn't, or couldn't, respond.

He lay in my lap for over two hours before he finally showed some signs of life. He rolled over onto his back and stared up at me. I could see some improvement; at least he looked at me, not through me. I brushed the hair from his face, and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Hi, you," he said quietly.

"Hi yourself," I said. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head.

"You scared me before," I said. "Barging in here like that."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just didn't know where else to go."

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. One part of me was thrilled he thought to turn to me first, but why did I have to face the brunt of his drunken escapades.

"You..." He shouted suddenly. He was off my lap and across the room an instant later, staring at me accusingly. "How could you, Bella? How the fuck could you keep that from me?" He screamed. His eyes were where wild, his voice hysterical.

I looked down the hallway towards Jake's room. I was worried that if he heard Edward screaming at me like this he might come out to protect me. I didn't want him bringing Phoebe out – I didn't want her to see Edward like this. When I turned back towards Edward I held my hands up in the sign of surrender. I wanted him to calm down a little.

"How could you!" he screamed again.

"Edward," I tried to keep my voice calm, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"About him. About fucking him. You knew! You knew and you never fucking told me."

I looked down the hallway, watching for any sign that Jake was about to come out. Edward knew my rule about language in this house. I was starting to lose my patience with him. "Watch your language!" I hissed.

"Fuck that! Why didn't you tell me my own fucking father was sleeping with Jessica fucking Stanley!"

Jessica? I was shocked. I'd always suspected something was there. And I couldn't face Edward Snr since our fight, but an affair with Jessica Stanley? That was beyond anything I would have expected. I gasped. "What?"

"You didn't know?" His voice was full of disbelief.

I shook my head, I could see how he would assume that I had – I hadn't been able to tell . "I really didn't," she whispered. "How long?"

He stepped away from me, pressing his back into the wall. Suddenly he fell to the ground. "How could he do that to her?" he sobbed. "How could he say he loves _her_?"

I grabbed his hand with one of my own, and ran my other along his cheek. "Why don't you have a lie down? It sounds like you've had a bad day."

He pushed himself forward onto his knees. He reached out for my face and ran his fingers into my hair. He sobbed one last time as he caught my eyes in his hypnotising gaze. He took a few deep breaths and then kissed me softly. I couldn't help the way my heart skipped a beat or my eyes fluttered closed at his touch.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered. "You were right when I said I loved who you used to be. But you were wrong about one thing, I do love who you are now."

It was the second time he'd told me he loved me since that first night when he'd proposed – and the second time he'd been drinking when he said it. I circled my arms around him and cradled him to me. "Come on," I said. "Let's get you into bed. Things will look better in the morning."

He shook his head, nuzzling into my neck. "This won't. I don't know if this will ever feel better. How am I supposed to deal with this?"

"We deal with things because we have to," I said. His statement was a prime example of why I found it so hard to give myself over to him. It was as if he was the first person in the world to be hurt. "It's called life, Edward," I added, knowing he probably wouldn't hear me – and would most likely forget in the morning if he did.

I helped him stand and then took him down to my bedroom. Jake would have to stay the night now – I would have to care for Edward; I couldn't send him back on the road in his current condition. He started to strip out of his pants and climbed into my bed. I helped where I could, but I couldn't help but complain about the alcoholic reek coming from him. I understood that he had been shocked and hurt today, and that he used alcohol as a coping mechanism, but I just wished he could see the damage that it could do - to himself and those around him. I left him to get settled in.

I checked in on Phoebe and Jake they gave me a smile and a wave. I let Jake know I would be out as soon as Edward went to sleep. Then I went back into my room and lay down behind Edward, offering my comfort. He grabbed my hand and wrapped it around himself. I buried my head into the base of his neck and allowed myself a few silent tears. I wasn't sure if I was crying for Edward, Elizabeth, myself, the situation or a combination of everything.


	19. Chapter 26

**Chasing Victory Chapter 26**

-Bella POV Reviewer Scene –

I was dreaming, but it quickly turned into a nightmare. I remember dreaming about hands. They roamed across my body, grazing across my nipples and warming my already heated skin. Then the contact was lost and I felt it as a physical ache, as if part of my own body had been removed in the process. I couldn't help worry that Edward was running again. In my dreams - in my nightmares - he was always running. I tried to curl tighter around myself but it didn't seem to help. Eventually my eyes opened to see the light of morning filtering around my curtains.

Morning dawned and with it came a new sense of excitement. Edward had told me he loved me. There was no duress, no alcohol and no embarrassment. He told me he loved me, and I believed him. He told me he didn't drink, and I believed him. I was ready to face the new day making new discoveries about the possibilities that were beginning to open for Edward and I.

Then I heard a voice, not raised in anger, but rathered lowered and cold. Another voice followed, its tone pairing the first. A lump rose in my chest. I almost collapsed under the weight of the emotion pressing in on me. I didn't want this. I finally managed to pull myself upright and make my way down the hall, full of trepidation.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Edward hissed icily at Jacob. A knot twisted in my stomach and warm tears pricked my eyes. Seeing the two men I cared about most outside of my family staring each other down was like a dagger to the gut.

"Turning up here drunk like that - honestly, man," Jake said, shaking his head and staring Edward down.

"Just keep your fucking nose out of Bella and I. She knows the fucking truth about yesterday and really that's all that fucking matters. I'm not going to justify myself to you. I really don't fucking need to."

I had had enough. It was all too much for me to cope with. I took a deep breath to try to hold back the tears, but it didn't work as a shout escaped my throat, "Will you two please just stop already!"

I dissolved into tears as arms came around me. I wasn't sure whose arms I would have preferred, those of my best friend or those of the man I had loved for so many years. But I settled for those that reached me first. I collapsed into Jake as he led me down the hall.

"I'm sorry, Bells, I didn't mean anything. He just made me so mad with his blasé attitude about everything. I mean after all you two had agreed on, to turn up here drunk like that." I could feel him shaking with rage. Jake was a sunny person; he could make almost anyone laugh and preferred to make love not war. But if he got pissed... let's just say, an angry Jake was not a good thing. He could be very dangerous if he felt he needed to be.

I shook my head. "No. He wasn't," I whispered, shaking my head against Jake and crying.

He brushed the tears away. "He wasn't what, sweetheart?"

"He wasn't drunk."

"But you said..."

I cut him off. "I was wrong."

"I'm sorry, Bells. Do you want me to go apologise?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath. "No. At least, not now. I need to talk to him first."

I heard a car door slam and an engine gunning down the street moments later. I recognised the sound instantly. Fresh tears sprung to my eyes as I pulled away from Jake's embrace and ran to the window. A quick glance confirmed it. I collapsed against the wall as the years of rejection and pain resolidified as walls around my heart. I couldn't take this. I didn't ask for this. I wondered how the morning could go from being so full of promise – to this.

Edward was running again.

I heard sounds in the hallway indicating Phoebe was up. I stood, took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my eyes and strode from the room with a sense of purpose. I raced up behind Phoebe and scooped her up, swinging her around gently in my arms before kissing her cheeks repeatedly. She squealed and struggled against me laughing. I plastered the smile on my face, because no matter else what happened I had to look out for number one in my life. She was worth every bit of heartache I might suffer.


	20. Chapter 27

**Chasing Victory Chapter 27**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

I looked over myself in embarrassment. I couldn't believe what had just happened - and in front of my ex-boyfriends mother of all people. My ex-boyfriend who just happened to be the reason I was in my current condition. I tried in vain to mop up the vomit with my shirt but it just wasn't working for me. I began to cry as the hormones ran rampant through my body.

"Ssh, Bella, It's alright," Elizabeth said soothingly. "We'll get you cleaned up."

She walked out of the room and came back a few minutes later, carrying some of Edward's clothes. I recognised them instantly and my tears became wracking sobs. She put the clothes on the table and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm sorry, it's the best I can do – my clothes will be too small for you at the moment."

I looked down at my swollen abdomen and at that time one of the babies decided to give me a swift kick. Elizabeth felt it too and her eyes filled with such wonder and joy that I knew she would be there for me as much as my own mother. Not that there had been much doubt – but somewhere in the back of my head I always worried about Edward's parents ultimate reaction. So far they'd been okay – or at least his mother had. I could have sworn I heard his father whisper something about a whore on at least one occassion.

Elizabeth helped me into the bathroom. I put Edward's clothes on the counter and quickly locked the door. I stripped off my vomit-covered clothes and climbed underneath the shower. The water felt so good and was calming so I stood under it for such a long time. At one point, I thought I heard a door click but realised it was probably just Elizabeth cleaning up my mess. The thought made me feel guilty and I turned off the shower to go out and help her. I pushed open the frosted glass door and almost ran into Edward Snr. It gave me such a fright I screamed. He seemed startled and quickly apologised, but not before his eyes ran the length of my body and his tongue darted across his lips. I yanked the towel off the rack and quickly covered myself up.

I dressed as fast as I could. I couldn't get the image of his eyes roving over my breasts and stomach out of my mind. I was just about sick again in the sink. I grabbed my mobile from my pants on the bathroom floor and called Emmett to come and rescue me without giving him the specifics. I thanked my lucky stars again for a brother like Emmett and a friend like Jacob – if not for them I don't think I would have survived this pregnancy as sane as I was.


	21. Chapter 28

**Chasing Victory Chapter 28**

-BPOV Reviewer Scene -

"Is your Mum still right to look after Phoebe?" I asked Edward after he reminded me about tomorrow – not that I'd forgotten, I just wasn't sure it was still on.

"Umm, I'll have to check..."

I cut Edward off – the regret that leeched into his every word told me something had happened. After his reaction yesterday and this morning I worried about Elizabeth. "Edward, what did you do?"

"I'll check with her, but I will be there tomorrow morning to pick you up regardless." I could hear the hurt in his voice, and it hurt me too. I took a deep breath and decided to do what I told him I would do. I would try to trust him.

"Okay, Edward, I'll trust you to arrange it."

"I'll be there early – get a goodnight's sleep 'cause it will be a long day."

He was teasing me and I knew it. "And you won't tell me where we are going?"

"Of course not."

"Fine – be like that," I said, pouting just a little to tease him back.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."

"Sure, sure, Edward." I kicked myself as soon as I said it – it was a saying I'd picked up from Jake. I hoped Edward didn't notice – not after this morning and the jealousy he was still showing.

"And Bella?" Edward's voice broke into my thoughts.

"What?"

"I love you."

I closed my eyes, I'd longed to hear those words for years but now each time he said them I felt the hope build in my chest. I knew that hope – that wish that maybe he had genuinely changed and was going to stay – would be what killed me when he finally ran. I wanted to believe him, but the walls were too thick. I wanted to tell him I loved him too but I didn't know how he would take it. Would he assume that it would fix everything, erase all the hurt he had caused? I took a deep breath.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said as I hung up the phone. I had to get ready for work.

I couldn't say I enjoyed working in the shop, but it was an income and had helped me to buy my house – well, with a little assistance from Mum and Dad. I worked hard to get myself through Uni, raise Phoebe and hold down a job. During that time I'd managed to pay off a big chunk of my house. Now, between the job with Pembletons and the increased house prices in the area, all that hard work was all about to pay off. The move to Sydney was bittersweet but ultimately I felt positive about it.

Was it too much to hope that Edward would be the icing on the cake?


	22. Chapter 29

**Chasing Victory Chapter 29**

-APOV Reviewer Scene -

"So," I said, once we were finally seated at Marco Polo. "Tell me everything about Bella."

The changes that came over Edward's face while he talked about her were remarkable. The corners of his lips twitched up involuntarily. The set of his brow shifted, causing his face to soften and his appearance to be less severe. His eyes filled with wonder and became bright emeralds shining from behind his lashes. He told me all about their past – about how they got together, and how they broke up. I didn't quiz him on the happenings since he arrived in Brisbane. I knew enough about that from his mother's frantic phone call this morning. This night out was about distracting him – reminding him what it is like to have fun. I knew from experience when he gets focused it's impossible to break it. I travelled to Brisbane so that he wouldn't become focused on the negatives.

As I watched him talk animatedly about Bella over the course of dinner – deliberately remaining quiet other than a few prompts to keep him talking I realised what the biggest change of all was. He was finally letting people – letting me – under that tough as nails exterior. His walls were crumbling and revealing the lost boy inside.

Bella was one lucky girl. I couldn't wait to meet her, but for now the roulette wheel was calling my name.


	23. Chapter 30

**Chasing Victory Chapter 30**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene -

The phone started to ring just as I put my key in the lock and twisted it. Typical, I thought as I struggled to get the door open in a hurry while juggling Phoebe on my right hip and my bag over my left arm. _Don't hang up, don't hang up_. I put Phoebe down just on the inside of the door and started hunting for the handset. It was just before eight, I was just getting home from work, and I couldn't help hoping that maybe Edward had decided to call me tonight.

"Hello," I answered, breathlessly. I wasn't sure if it was from the short run from the door or in anticipation of talking to Edward.

"Bella," Rosalie's dulcet tones rang down the line. I repressed the urge to sigh. "Just wondering what you're doing tomorrow. It feels like ages since we've hung out."

I wanted to laugh at her blatant lie. It had been Tuesday that I'd stayed over her place with Phoebe, hardly ages. But I could read between the lines – she wanted the goss on Edward and I. Which didn't bode well. I loved Rosalie to death, and owed her so much of my sanity, but she could be a little overbearing sometimes. When I thought about how she went off on poor Sam after we had broken up... well – let's just say I felt sorry for him afterwards. "I can't tomorrow," I said, as sweetly as I could, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice. "I'm going out."

Of course, she asked the inevitable question. "With who?"

I couldn't lie to her. Not only would it make me feel horribly guilty, but she was a human lie detector – or maybe I was just a really bad liar. I wondered briefly if I could get away with just not answering... I knew the answer to that though. "With Edward."

"Why?"

I sighed. This was the question I kept facing from my family. Why? Why didn't I give up on him earlier when he left? Why was I unable to tell him to leave me alone now? Why did I want to give him another chance? They knew the answers as well as I did. Because I owed it to Phoebe not to freeze her father out of her life. Because I owed it to myself to try to claim my last chance at happiness. Because I loved him. Because I had always loved him – even as he was plunging the metaphorical knife into my heart - I loved him. "You know why," was the best answer I could come up with.

"He's going to hurt you again."

"Probably, Rose. But what can I do?"

"Umm...try not seeing him."

"That's not an option."

"What if he called it off?"

Just thinking about it made my heart ache. But I knew it was a possibility. I just couldn't tell Rosalie how much of a possibility. "Well, I guess I'll have to deal with that if it happened."

"When it happens."

"No, Rose... if."

"Bella, that boy will break your heart. You know it as well as I do."

"I don't know that. Neither do you. He might have changed, he says he has."

"Leopards don't change their spots – and fuckwits don't change their ways." Her voice was thick with incredulity.

"Look, if this is going to turn into a bagging session just... don't bother. I'll talk to you later." I hung up before she had a chance to argue. I couldn't let her voice my own fears back to me – it made them real.


	24. Chapter 31

**Chasing Victory Chapter 31**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene -

I looked down at the racing suit that rested in my hands. I couldn't believe that this was the date Edward was taking me on. Some people may have thought it selfish of him to take me to do something he loved. But I saw it differently. I realised this was his way of opening his world up to me – inviting me in. By involving his team, he was acknowledging me to them. Combined with his whispered promises lately, I honestly felt a difference in my heart. Something new was developing between us. I felt a renewed hope that maybe this time things would work out differently.

I undressed, leaving my t-shirt on as Edward suggested, and began to pull on the racing suit. As I did, I imagined Edward in his matching outfit. I'd seen him in it on TV. I'd seen him in it in my dreams. But in a few moments I would be seeing him in it for real. Just thinking about that sight made my knees go weak. I couldn't imagine what actually seeing him would do. I felt woefully inadequate in comparison. He was a god – women flocked to him. I was... me. I decided I needed to do something to tip the balance slightly in my favour. An idea struck me. I thought about it for a few seconds before ripping my t-shirt off over my head. If nothing happened, Edward would never need to know about this. If something did happen... well hopefully my brazenness would earn me some points in his book.

I zipped up the racing suit and went outside to wait for Edward. I saw the glances the few people across the field where giving me and I wondered whether these suits had some kind of magic seductive powers. I heard someone approaching me from behind and assumed it was Edward by the thrill that ran up my spine.

"What's the matter?" I asked, as I turned towards him, hoping to sound seductive. "Cat got your..." I couldn't finish my sentence because there in front of me was the God of racing himself. My eyes trailed down his body and I wanted my tongue to follow them. I couldn't avoid noticing how his racing suit strained in _certain_ areas.

He gave me a small smile. "You ready?"

I knew he meant for the race-track. But when I nodded - I meant I was ready for everything.

He owned me. Body, heart and soul – I was his.


	25. Chapter 32

**Chasing Victory Chapter 32**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene -

"Really, Bella, if you want to see him... go. I'll finish unpacking the car and then run it to scrutineering," Edward said, but his nose flared and his eyebrows dipped, giving away how much the idea concerned him.

"Are you sure?" I asked, giving him a chance to change his mind. I did want to go over to talk to Jake, but probably not for the reasons Edward thought.

Edward nodded, and I took a quick deep breath. I sincerely hoped this little event didn't put him in a foul mood. I jogged off to see Jacob as fast as I dared without risking a catastrophic fall. The last thing I needed was to end up sprawling and having both of them running over to help me out. That would end in disaster, just like the other morning.

"Hey, Bells," he said as I drew closer to him. The confusion on his features was evident. "What're you doing here?"

"This is my date."

"Drag racing? That's his idea of romance? I would have thought..."

I cut him off with a raised palm. "_I_ like this date. He's trying to show me his life."

He laughed and grabbed the sleeve of my racing suit, which was still tied around my waist. "So that's what all this is about?"

"Oh, Jake, he took me out in a V8. He even let me drive." I laughed at the memory of my time behind the wheel. I was so nervous, but somehow knowing Edward was there alongside me made it easier.

"So where do we stand on him then?"

I turned and leaned against Jake's Silvia, watching as Edward climbed into his Monaro. The car kicked up dust as he gunned it out of the pit area. I didn't want to admit to Edward just how familiar I was with Willowbank Raceway. Jake was in the Street Series, and we came down every meet. Most of the time, we even brought Phoebe - she loved the cars, but usually fell asleep fairly early. I was so lost in thought it took me a second to realise Jake was still waiting for a response. "I love him, Jake."

Jake chuckled. "Tell me something I didn't already know. Where do we stand on letting him back into your life?" 

"Jake, honey, I love you – but you've got to back off. Edward has been through a lot since he arrived back in Brisbane, some of it you know about, some of it you don't. The fact that he is here, still trying to win my affection..." I trailed off with a smile.

"Bells, you know I just don't want to see you hurt. If you want space, you've got it. If you need me, I'm here."

I gave him a quick squeeze. "I know."

"Did you want me to leave?"

"And ruin your championship chances? No way." I laughed. "Edward's a big boy; he'll deal with it."

"I bet he flips his lid about something tonight." Jake laughed.

I shook my head. "Nope, I don't think he will. In fact, I bet he's affectionate and sweet. He has been all day." _Mostly_, I added mentally.

"You're on."

"What?"

"Bet's on – with the usual stakes."

"Fine," I said petulantly, but I felt confident I could win since I trusted Edward. I stopped myself as soon as the thought crossed my mind. I knew Edward was still hurting and needed a lot of time and patience, but I did trust him. Something had shifted in our relationship. I knew that for a little while at least, I would have to be the strong one in our relationship. I just prayed I had strength enough for three.

I noticed Jake was climbing into his car.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"Winning a bet." He grinned at me before moving his car into the spot next to Edward's.

_Cheater_, I thought.

But two could play that game.


	26. Chapter 33

**Chasing Victory Chapter 33**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene -

"Go say good-bye," Edward said, inclining his head in Jake's direction. "I'll finish packing up."

I quickly assessed his mood. I was winning the bet with Jake and the last thing I needed was for Edward to flip out while I was saying good-bye. But Edward seemed calm enough so I jogged over to Jake and stuck my tongue out at him.

"That's not juvenile at all," he said sarcastically in response. "What if Phoebe saw you doing that?"

I shrugged. "She's not here right now, and I won."

"The night's not over yet." Jake seemed determined.

"Actually, it is." I laughed. "We're about to head off."

"Damn. I was sure I was going to get him to crack."

I shrugged. "I knew you wouldn't. I had faith in him."

"Well, look at you..."

I laughed and shrugged again. "What can I say? I'm..."

"Hopeless," he laughed.

"If feeling like this makes me hopeless... I am utterly and completely hopeless."

"I'm happy for you, Bells." Jake glanced over my shoulder. I knew what at when I felt a thrill run up my spine at Edward's proximity.

"Congratulations, Jake," Edward said stiffly from behind me. My heart leapt that he was trying to be civil, even now when we were about to go.

"Ummm... yeah... thanks, Edward," Jake said in response. "Are you leaving now?"

Jake looked at me and mouthed 'hopeless'. I nodded. I was absolutely and completely, hopelessly in love with Edward Masen.

"Yes, _Bella and I_ were just about to go," Edward replied, wrapping his arms tightly around me from behind. He had a raging erection and it pressed hard into my ass, doing all sorts of things to my body. Without thinking, I leaned back to him. He groaned and I tried to stifle a giggle.

"Are you ready?" he asked, his lips brushing along my neck.

"You don't know how ready I am," I replied.

I was ready to give him all of me. Including the part I had never been able to give to any other man.


	27. Chapter 34

**Chasing Victory Chapter 34**

- Elizabeth POV Reviewer Scene –

"I want mummy!" Phoebe stamped her foot and crossed her arms across her chest.

She had been the most beautiful little angel all day and had now decided to throw one of her almighty temper tantrums. The only problem, for her, was the fact that she looked too cute stomping her feet and with that big pout on her mouth that instead of bending to her will, like she no doubt wanted, I found myself laughing. She fought to keep her mouth puckered into her pout, but I could see the changes on her face as she started to laugh too. Little expressions like that always amazed me because they were reminders of just how much she was like her father. I couldn't count the number of times Edward did that exact same thing when he was a child. It was always easy to divert his temper tantrums because of his naturally sunny disposition.

I had tried to show Phoebe a good day today. I had walked her to a park – the park – I knew Edward thought I didn't know about the special little park bench there that he shared with Bella, but mothers know more than they ever let on. We kicked a ball around for a little while and then we played on the slide and swings. When we'd gone back home I made vegemite sandwiches for her lunch. We had watched a couple of episodes of Dora and some Mickey Mouse. All in all, it had been a good day.

I had bathed and dressed her and was trying to get her off to sleep. I knew Edward and Bella would be finishing up soon, but I wanted them to have some time to themselves. To talk properly, without outside interference. I figured if Phoebe was asleep they would be more likely to leave her here for longer without Bella worrying about putting me out.

I scooped Phoebe up in my arms and carried her down to Edward's room. I cradled her in my arms as we read a couple of stories and I sang her to sleep with the lullabies I used to sing to Edward. A little while later she was fast asleep. I laid her quietly down and crept from the room. I rang Edward to let him know that there was no need to rush home.

I crept back down the hall and climbed onto the bed alongside the little girl wrapped in my son's blankets and quietly sobbed over the mess I had allowed my life to become. I knew the fact that my only grandchild didn't even really know who I was, was penance for my past sins. But more than anything, I knew it was time to start making some hard decisions.


	28. Chapter 35

**Chasing Victory Chapter 35**

- Bella POV Reviewer Scene –

I was sitting in the ice-cream parlour digesting everything that had happened today. I had deliberately forced myself to hold back and not intervene whenever Edward was a little hesitant. I hoped that it would give him the opportunity to realise that kids weren't as scary as he might have believed. In fact if you allowed yourself to be swept up with their fun, they were quite fun.

One thing dominated my thoughts, and that was Edward's slip of the tongue when he'd comforted Phoebe. I couldn't believe how naturally the word 'daddy' had fallen from his mouth. It filled me with hope. I was lost in thought when Edward's phone rang. He walked away from the table and it gave me a minute alone with Phoebe. She was contemplating her ice-cream rather than eating it.

"What's up sweetie?" I asked.

She furrowed her brow. "Mummy, do I have a daddy?"

My heart froze. I knew Edward wanted us to tell her together, and so did I. I decided to try to stall her for a little while, at least until he was back and we could explain together. Although I realised we couldn't do it in such a crowded area, so we would have to stall for a little while. I leaned close to Phoebe and gave her the best answer I could come up with without lying. "Yes, baby-girl, you do have a daddy. And he loves you very much."

"Really?" Phoebe responded. I nodded and smiled at her.

"What's up?" Edward asked as he returned to the table. I didn't know if he'd heard Phoebe's question or my answer, but he seemed genuinely intrigued so I could only assume he hadn't. Phoebe had reverted to a speculative mood. She was quieter than usual and I could almost see the gears grinding away in her head.

"Fine. Keep your secrets," Edward said.

I didn't want him to think I was hiding anything from him, not after everything he had been through with his parents and everything else going on in his life. "Edward, I..."

He cut me off. "Don't worry, it was a stupid thing for me to say. Are you both ready to go?"

I nodded and saw Phoebe nod too. Edward picked her up and put her on his shoulders to carry her out to the car. I walked beside them in quiet contemplation. I decided as soon as we got home we would sit down together and tell Phoebe as much as she could handle. Edward put her straight into the car seat. He bent in to get her strapped in and I couldn't help admiring the view. At least until I overhead five whispered words between Phoebe and Edward. "Edward," she said. "You're a good daddy."

I bit my lip to stop myself from making a sound. I knew Edward's reaction could make or break our future.


	29. Chapter 36

**Chasing Victory Chapter 36**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene –

When I woke to an empty bed, I wasn't surprised. I'd asked Edward to stay until I had fallen asleep, but I didn't expect him to stay around much longer than that. He was right after all, he hadn't brought a change of clothes and he had to head back to his Mum's eventually. I just didn't want whatever spell had been cast over the weekend to be broken. I wanted to trust that he wasn't going anywhere for long and I did trust him. But actually letting him walk out the door was another matter. I asked him to wait until I was asleep so I didn't have to see him leaving. The nightmares that had plagued me for four years had only just started to abate and I didn't want to risk their return.

I climbed out of bed, trying to quell the sensation of loss I felt upon discovering Edward's absence. I decided a glass of water might help so I padded out of my room and down the darkened hall. I stopped short when I saw the silhouette of Edward watching Phoebe in her room. I bit my lip and watched in silence for a few minutes as he stood there unmoving. I edged closer until I was directly behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist. He started a little at my touch but then his arms came to rest on top of mine. I rested my head against his back, breathing in his calming scent. "You didn't leave?" I asked.

He shook his head, but never turned away from Phoebe's room. "I guess I got a bit distracted."

I couldn't blame him. I couldn't count the number of nights I had stood exactly where he was and marvelled at my, our, little miracle. She had come through so much adversity and stood stronger because of it. To see her accept Edward so quickly, so unquestioningly, was great. To have him respond in kind, was perfect.

Edward spun in my arms, so that he was facing me. He looked down at me and his face was masked with so many conflicting emotions. He clutched my waist, before pushing me backwards until I hit the hallway wall. His lips hit mine with a ferocity that couldn't be faked. I was soon swept away by the tide of pleasure that always seemed to accompany Edward's lips. Edward's hands. Edward's... _Oh God!_

In minutes Edward had used his perfect body to have me purring like a V8. I clutched him tightly to me as he brought me to ecstasy. His mouth rested beside my ear, his breaths hot and erratic against my neck. The sounds he made alternated between growls and sweet nothings, constant whispers in my ear. My senses and needs were completely satisfied by him. I probably could have stopped breathing and still survived. Oxygen was a trifling matter when facing the absolute intoxication that went hand in hand with making love to Edward. And that was what we were doing. He wasn't fucking me, I wasn't just some random hook-up, he looked deep into my soul as our bodies twisted and tangled in their intimate dance.

After we were finished he held me close and spoke to me, telling me in a soft voice how he felt about the weekend. Every word he issued filled me with hope. The hope burst the remnants of the dam I had built around my heart with his last whispered words. "Things are finally on track."

I fell into my most comfortable sleep ever, surrounded by everything Edward.

When I woke morning light was filling my bedroom. The air smelled sweet, tinged with the aroma of sex and sweat. My hand reached out for Edward and arrived at an empty pillow. I sat bolt upright and had a moment of blind panic until I saw his note resting where his head had laid just a few hours previous. After reading the words two or three times I clutched the note to my chest, not allowing any doubt to seep in. I just knew things would be okay.


	30. Chapter 37

**Chasing Victory Chapter 37**

- Jasper POV Reviewer Scene –

- January 2005 -

Man, I was fucking wasted.

Between the drinks at the club and whatever the hell it was that Squirt had procured and given me, I was barely seeing straight. He may have been young and naive when he'd started at Cullen Racing, but the kid had better contacts than I did these days.

Masen was in his room being 'serviced' by one of the bitches who had hit on us at the club. The noises coming from the two of them were making me hard as cement. I needed some relief. I just wished I could have gotten Alice off my fucking mind so that I could be slamming one of the other sluts that had thrown themselves at us. Ididn't know what it was about her, but she had been driving me so crazy lately. I couldn't even force myself to screw anyone else – and I had tried. I didn't even bother trying anymore; mostly because I couldn't allow myself to get a reputation for being slack in the sack. Instead, I waited while Squirt got _his _jollies off.

I decided to investigate the extensive porn collection on his PC. He claimed he never watched it, and I'd put most of that shit there, but he'd never deleted it. In fact, he had added to it. Like that video of the orgy he'd had with those three cheerleaders. He had been so fucked that night - in every sense of the word. The chicks had even slipped him a Viagra to ensure he stayed hard. He'd told me how he discovered the video on his phone the next morning. I thought it was fucking hilarious – the boy probably had the best sex of his life, and he didn't even remember it. I convinced him to keep the video as an 'insurance policy' though, because those girls were high profile skanks.

I sat in his office chair after pressing the button to boot up the PC. I swivelled the chair side to side while I waited for the computer to boot up. The phone started to ringing. I debated whether to answer it but decided it was probably best to let it go to the machine, otherwise I might get drawn into some inane conversation when all I wanted to do was relieve my raging boner.

I listened as a soft, breathy, female voice filled the room. Even in my fucked up state I could tell she sounded broken. "Edward...it's me. Please, call me. I know things didn't end well and that you are avoiding me for some reason, but please, Edward, I _need _to talk to you."

The beep of the machine ended the message. I glanced around his office, seeing the red light flashing on his phone to indicate the arrival of the voice-mail. It took me all of two seconds to push the button and listen to the message again. A harsh voice screeched that there was one new message and sixteen old messages.

After replaying the message, the machine told me to press one to listen to the old messages. I couldn't help my curiosity. It was a chance to glimpse into Squirt's old life - the life he never spoke of. I listened to all sixteen messages. The first one was just days after his arrival in Sydney. Although there was still a tinge of sorrow the voice was happier then, announcing that it was 'Bella'. As each message ticked down, the voice grew sadder and sadder.

The start-up tone of the computer startled me. The internet browser window automatically opened to his email program and showed a new email from Isabella Swan. I assumed Isabella was 'Bella'. My assumption was confirmed when I realised it was yet another plea for him to call her.

I heard Squirt 'finishing' with his current conquest. "Will you call me?" she asked, her voice slurred and rambling. I wondered what he had fed her, or whether she had been supplying this time.

"Fuck no," he said, unashamedly. "_This_, was a one-time thing."

"Oh," I heard the dejection in her voice. I had to stifle a chuckle. I was still fucked up enough to find the situation hilarious. Why would we want to go back for seconds when there was always fresh meat being dangled in front of us.

I heard the door slam. He appeared in the study doorway seconds later. "What are you fucking doing?"

I quirked my eyebrow. "Relieving my situation." I inclined my head to indicate my crotch.

He walked over to the desk and placed another tablet in front of me. He threw one in his own mouth and swallowed. Then he shrugged and turned to leave. "Whatever. Just, clean up after yourself."

"Squirt?" I asked, he paused. "Who's Bella?"

His whole body grew rigid. "A bad dream I wish I could shake," he said. I could hear the venom in his voice. I realised he must really hate this chick.

"Why?" he asked, turning back to me.

"She called for you."

"Ugh, why can't she get the fucking message and leave me alone." He swept from the room, tugging at his hair angrily.

I dropped the issue, downed the pill he had left for me, and pulled up the porn I was looking for - avoiding the 'private' collection. Ten minutes later, and a load lighter, I had a great idea for how to help a brother out. I pulled up his email and attached the footage of him with the cheerleaders together with some of the matching photos. If that didn't get rid of his problem, nothing would.


	31. Chapter 38

**Chasing Victory Chapter 38**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene –

- May 2004 –

"And then she said that Ben told her that he loves her!" I gushed. "Isn't that great!"

Edward just shrugged and looked back at the homework he was helping me with. He took a pen out and began to change something on the page.

"I mean, that's a huge step for them. Don't you think?" I pushed.

"Yeah, it's great, whatever."

"_Yeah, it's great, whatever_... are you kidding me?" I snapped. I was telling him that our best friends – our only couple friends – had finally taken _the leap_ and said the L word. He was acting like I was reading from my maths book.

"I just don't see what the big deal is, Bella. It's just a word."

"_Just a word?"_ I asked incredulously. "How can it be just a word? It's _the_ word. The word that defines where you place in your partner's life."

He shrugged and looked up at me from between his eyelashes. "I just don't see it that way. Surely actions speak louder than words."

"It's nice to hear the words sometimes," I countered.

"Why?"

"Are you freaking kidding me?" I was getting pissed off now. I realised I was never going to have that 'magic' moment where he looked into my eyes and whispered the special words to tell me what I meant to him.

"You hear the words thrown around so much these days – every celebrity is in love with someone new every week. How is that special?"

"Do you love me?" I asked.

"What a stupid question," he snapped back.

"Why is it stupid?"

"Because you know the answer already."

"Do I?" I yanked back the book he was looking at, slamming it shut before shoving it roughly into my bag.

"Of course you do, Bella, you know you mean everything to me." 

"Then say the word."

"I'm not going to be pressured into this shit!"

"Fine," I retorted. "No pressure. Don't worry about it."

"Bella?" his eyes searched my face. His voice was calmer when he spoke again. "I'm not going to say that just because someone else has. I don't need to compare _us_ with anyone."

"Why not, Edward? We've been together longer than they have."

He laughed at me. "Not really, not when you factor in our 'breaks'."

"You know what? Factor in this _break_." I stood sharply, knocking my chair backwards in the process.

"What?" He stood up. His voice rang with sadness.

He reached his hand out to me. I stepped away from him, shaking my head. "It's over, Edward."

"No!"

I could hear the tears in his voice but I couldn't look back at him or my own tears would flow.

"Can I come over later?" He asked as I walked away.

I shook my head. "I won't be home and you won't be welcome. I want to be with someone who isn't afraid to tell me what he feels."

"But, Baby..." he started, staring at my bag.

I cut him off. "Don't you 'baby' me, Edward Anthony Masen. We're through."

I walked away and didn't look back. Even if I had I wouldn't have been able to see him through the water in my eyes. I went straight to Angela's like we'd arranged earlier and she helped clean me up. It wasn't until the next morning, when I was checking Edward's corrections to my homework, that I saw it. He hadn't changed anything – he'd placed a pink post-it note on the page and written 'Edward Masen is madly in love with Bella Swan' in his perfect script.

I threw myself into his arms as soon as I reached school the next morning.


	32. Chapter 39  song list

RCE Apology Playlist:-

http:/www(dot)mixpod(dot)com/playlist/56269692

Chicago – Hard for me to say I'm sorry.

Michael Buble – Always on my mind

Enrique Inglesias - Hero

Blue – Sorry seems to hardest word

Journey – Open Arms

Oasis – Wonderwall

Muse – Sing for Absolution

Take That – Back for good

The Pretenders – I'll stand by you

Boyz II Men – On Bended Knee

Cher – Turn back time

Meatloaf – It's all coming back to me now

Beatles - Something

Bad English – When I see you smile

Cheap Trick – The Flame

Warrant – Heaven

UB40 – Can't help falling in love

Seether – Broken

Simple Minds – Don't you forget about me

Evanescence – Forgive me

Blink 182 - I miss you

Coldplay – The scientist

Buckcherry – Sorry

Brian Mcknight - Back at One

Roachford – Only to be with you

Frank Sinatra – The best is yet to come

Hoobastank – The Reason

Debussy - Clair de lune

Beethoven – Moonlight Sonata

Yiruma – River Flows in You

Kreisler – Liebeslied

Bach - Double Violin Concerto in D minor 2nd movement, Largo


	33. Chapter 40

**Chasing Victory Chapter 40**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene –

I ran my fingers down the ruffles on the dress that Edward had arranged for me. I knew enough about him to know that he hadn't picked it out personally, but the fact that he'd gone to the trouble to order it said a lot to me. It wasn't a style or colour that I would usually pick for myself but it was beautiful. The tags had been removed, so I had no idea how much it cost.

"Bella, baby, did you see the dress?" Mum called from the living room where she was entertaining Phoebe. "I hung it on your bedroom door."

I wanted to laugh. No matter how many times my parents moved - or the fact that I owned my own house - Mum still designated one bedroom as mine and insisted it was always available for me if I needed it.

"Yes, I see it," I called out. "Thanks, Mum."

I got everything ready to have a shower, but was interrupted on my way. "Bells, can we have a quick talk?" Dad had his 'serious' face on, so I knew I couldn't get away with not talking to him.

"Sure." I followed him into the pool room. "What's up?"

He turned away from me and began to fiddle with the pool cues on the wall, arranging and rearranging them before he spoke. He looked everywhere but at me. I knew whatever he wanted to talk about, it was bad. Worse - I suspected I knew what it was. My suspicions were confirmed the second he opened his mouth. "Are you sure going out with _him_ tonight is the best thing for you?"

"Yes," I said with conviction. I never thought Edward would be able to rebuild my trust, and definitely not in the space of a few short weeks, but he had. He had injected himself into every part of my heart and soul and I trusted him not to hurt me anymore. "I love him."

"Sometimes love isn't enough," he turned back towards me. "It wasn't last time."

I sighed. "I know, Dad, but he knows what he did. He knows how I feel."

He winced. I knew he'd been hurt when Edward left - he'd lost a son and in a lot of ways he'd lost his daughter too. I was never quite the same. I could never really genuinely smile; at least I hadn't been able to until the last week. Which was exactly the reason I knew I had to try with Edward.

"I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I won't be," I reassured him.

"I don't trust him."

I placed my hands on Dad's face, forcing him to look at me. "_You_ don't have to. I'm the one who needs to trust him... and I do. And if I don't shower right now, I'm going to be late."

I left him sitting in the room and climbed into the shower. The warm water felt good on my skin and I relaxed into it. I cleaned myself off as quickly as possible. I climbed out of the shower and got dressed. Surprisingly the fuchsia taffeta suited my hair colour perfectly, the dress clung to me well. Whoever had selected this dress had a perfect eye for fashion. Most importantly, I felt good with what I was wearing.

Mum brought Phoebe down to the bathroom. Phoebe sat on the counter while Mum pulled out the hair-dryer and began drying my hair. She turned it off when I heard Dad call something out. She shouted back, asking what he wanted. He didn't say anything.

"I'll go see what that was about," she said. She came back a minute later and I raised my eyebrow at her in query. She frowned. "I'm not sure where he is."

I shrugged as she set about working on my hair again. I needed to finish getting ready because Edward was due to arrive any minute. I applied the make-up I had brought from my house while Mum put the finishing touches to my hair. Phoebe spent the whole time giving me fashion pointers. I was about to start on my mascara when I heard raised voices. More specifically, when I heard Edward's raised voice.

My heart plummeted into my stomach. I dropped the mascara wand. "Look after Phoebe," I called to Mum as I ran from bathroom. I followed the raised voices outside. I stopped at the gate, gasping in horror at the sight I saw before me.


	34. Chapter 41

**Chasing Victory Chapter 41**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene –

I didn't want to go to the fundraiser.

I didn't really want to go even _before_ Emmett and Charlie pulled their little stunt. But afterwards - after seeing the conviction in Edward's eyes as he spoke of leaving again - the idea was even less appealing. I would have preferred to spend the time in quiet discussion with Edward, convincing him that everything was worth the effort he was putting in. That _we_ were worth the effort. But the night was important to Edward so I was going to go - and I was going to have a good time. I even put on a brave face to get him out of the car and into City Hall.

Of course, my bravado faded the minute I entered the room. It was immediately evident that someone like me didn't belong there. I was just a plain girl from the suburbs. I was just a mum. Just a student on the verge of graduation from university who worked in a shop for a few hours each week. I was not rich, famous or important. If it wasn't for Edward's hand on my hip, guiding me through the crowd to our table, I probably would have turned tail and ran.

I watched as person after person I didn't know came over and sat down at our table. Edward seemed to grow more apprehensive with each new arrival which didn't bode well for a good night. One final couple entered the room just as the doors were being closed. I recognised the male as some footballer Emmett idolised. For about two seconds I considered asking him for an autograph, but then I remembered I was mad at my idiot brother for the stunt he'd pulled. I fumed again for a few seconds at their stupidity. I hadn't even known he was at Mum's house. I couldn't wait to tell Rose what he had done - she'd make sure he was adequately punished.

The 'decoration' hanging off the arm of the footballer caught my eye. There was something familiar about her. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on at first glance. It was only the way her dress clung to her so tightly, and revealed so much skin, that made me realise who she was. I blinked as my mind pondered the possibility of running into my airport coffee saviour again.

"Edward," she purred. "What a surprise running into you here."

I gasped. I hadn't realised she _knew_ him. But then I realised I shouldn't have been surprised. Not after she'd told me about his request at the airport. I dropped my head and fought back the tears. I tried to remind myself that he was not _that_ Edward anymore. Despite what Charlie and Emmett thought, he had improved himself. He was becoming _my_ Edward again - the sweet boy who looked after others before himself; who wrote me love notes and made me feel like I was the only person in the world when he looked at me. That was who he was becoming again.

With that thought strong in my mind, I raised my head and looked at my one-time saviour. I blew out a deep breath. It wasn't her fault she and Edward had a shared. It wasn't like she'd done anything to intentionally hurt me. She met my eye and gave me a small smile before holding her hand out to me. "Hi, I'm Victoria."

"Bella," I said in response.

Edward went a ghastly shade of green and excused himself from the table almost immediately. My eyes followed him as he walked through the doors in search of a restroom. It was impossible for me not to notice the sleek lines of his body beneath his finely tailored tux. A small bubble of pride built in my chest that he'd come here with me and as people had arrived he had introduced me as his girlfriend. I knew about his reputation from the magazines, his mother and _the_ email; so I knew how big a deal it was for him to be declaring to a room full of important people that I was more than just his date. I was his girlfriend.

"So?" Victoria questioned. "You're here with Edward?"

I nodded.

She raised her eyebrow before biting her lip. She leaned closer to me and whispered, "If I'm not mistaken we've met before? In London?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"You needed help with coffee because of a dick of an ex?" She chuckled once, looking in the direction Edward had gone.

"Yes." I bit my cheek to stop my smile. "But he's not so much of a dick these days."

"Not so much of an ex either." Her voice held a challenge.

I shook my head and beamed. "No, not so much of an ex either."

"I'm glad for you," she enthused. "If you ever want to talk to someone about it, feel free to call me."

She handed me a card with a phone number and nothing else on it. I glanced at it quickly before sliding it into my purse.

"Thanks," I said, knowing I was unlikely to take her up on her offer but genuinely thankful for it anyway.

I felt a thrill run through me as Edward entered the room again. I cast him a quick glance before turning my attention back to Victoria. "So what do you do?"

"I'm in publishing," she responded.

"Publishing? What does that entail?"

She shrugged. "A bit of this and a bit of that." She looked away for a minute.

I saw Edward sink down into his chair, his hands covering his face. I wanted to tell him not to panic. That we would deal with his past together - despite the pain it might cause me. I placed my hand on his knee in support.

"What do you do?" Victoria asked me in return when she turned back towards me.

It was my turn to shrug. I couldn't embarrass Edward by saying I was a part-time shop assistant and full-time mother. "I've been studying law. In fact, I'll be starting with a law firm in Sydney shortly."

"Oh, really? That sounds interesting. Tell me more." She smiled at me, obviously trying to make me feel at ease, but something in the way she moved made me more apprehensive the longer we spoke. Perhaps it was the surreptitious glances she kept shooting away from the table, or the way her eyes would fall to Edward briefly before settling back on me.

I rubbed my hand lightly on Edward's thigh but I wasn't sure whether it was to give comfort - or to receive it.


	35. Chapter 42

**Chasing Victory Chapter 42**

- BPOV Reviewer Scene –

I hadn't taken my eyes off Edward the entire night. How could I - he was stunning in that sleek black tux. Because of the attention I was giving him, I could see how often his eyes wandered in my direction. And how his face would lift a little when we locked eyes. Even though we were on opposite sides of a crowded room, it was easy to believe we were the only people there.

I decided I needed to speak to him, I couldn't bear sitting at the table with the stuffy Volturi people a minute later. I swear that PR bitch of theirs was a bit of a psycho - she seemed to enjoy Edward's obvious discomfort. I stood and crossed the room before purchasing something from the merchandise table. I didn't care what it was - only that it got me back near Edward. We had a small conversation and a bit of a tease before I had to move on. I turned away from him, horrified when I heard Victoria start to flirt with him before I was even out of ear shot. Then I smiled to myself as he openly declared to her that he was a 'one-woman man'. I knew I was done-for. I would be devastated if ever Edward left me again, but I no longer feared that he would.

I returned to my seat and tucked the poster under the table. I took up my previous position, watching Edward as he interacted with everyone. He was really in his element and they really seemed to love him. Even celebrities that I was in awe of seemed to clamour to talk to him. It was easy to forget how famous he really was when we at my house; when we sat in front of the TV with Phoebe and bludged. I wondered what life would be like once Phoebe and I moved to Sydney. When we were living in his mini-mansion and had to face the pressure of being in the spotlight alongside him. I knew it didn't really matter because at the end of each day we would end up in bed wrapped around each other. The rest of the world could go to pot and we wouldn't notice.

Edward stood from the autograph table and his legs seemed to collapse beneath him a little. He walked towards me and his steps were shaky. I grew more concerned for him with each passing second.

"Edward?" I asked. "Are you feeling all right?"

His eyes wandered over to me slowly. Then he gazed silently at me for the longest time, his whole body swaying slightly. Finally he spoke. "I think I need the bathroom."

I placed an arm around his waist, helping him out to the men's room. He staggered out of my grasp and through the door. I leaned against the opposite wall to wait for him. I could hear the muffled sounds of him vomiting and knew something was wrong. I knew he hadn't drank excessively - he'd had two drinks with dinner, which was nothing for someone as _seasoned_ as him. I began to stress about what could be happening when the little blonde PR agent, Jane, approached me.

"I need to talk," she said quietly, her eyes darting around as if looking for someone.

"I'm sorry, I really can't. I'm waiting for someone."

"For Edward?" she asked.

"Yes... how did you - "

She cut me off. "You'd be surprised what you notice when you are in PR."

"Like?"

"Lots," she said. "And not all of it pleasant."

"What are you talking about?"

She shook her head. "Not here." She indicated that I should follow her.

I looked at the bathroom door again, not sure whether Edward was going to be a while longer. I knew he wasn't in a fit state to be left alone, but I could still hear him heaving, and figured I had a minute or two spare. I nodded. Jane walked a little distance away and around a corner in a deserted hallway.

"I don't know much about what's happening, but I've heard rumours that Aro wants Edward at Volturi." We were completely alone but she still spoke in a hushed whisper.

I wasn't at all surprised by her 'revelation', Edward had told me as much himself. "So?" I asked, already regretting my decision to leave my spot guarding the bathroom door.

"So... he's not above dirty tactics to get what he wants," she said. "I should know," she muttered under her breath.

Again I didn't feel the least bit of surprise at her remark. The whole night was obviously a set-up. Why else would Edward be sitting at a table which was clearly marked 'Volturi Racing'.

"What does this have to do with me?" I asked.

"I just wanted you to know."

"Know what?" I asked, confused, but before I could find out anymore I heard Edward's voice screaming.

He was shouting, "You're not Bella," over and over again. I knew he was in trouble. I didn't care what else Jane had to tell me - she wasn't exactly being informative anyway. I ran toward the sound of Edward's voice.


	36. FfN Carlisle POV Outtake

**_A/N:- This was not a reviewer scene. It was something I did for the Fics For Nashville a while ago. The non-posting time has long passed but I was just waiting to get up to this bit in the story before posting this outtake. If you haven't read this previously - ENJOY :)_**

Chasing Victory Outtake

- Carlisle POV -

Despite what some people might say or think, owning a race team is a business. And, in business, some decisions are immensely easy, while others are incredibly difficult. Deciding to hire Edward Masen was definitely one of the easiest decisions in my career. The first time I had seen him race, it was evident how naturally gifted he was behind the wheel. I also saw he had a spark of excitement in his eye as he went about his off-track tasks. I could see his potential for greatness, if he were properly trained. The ability to drive and a passion for the sport were the two most important things I needed in a driver; any fool could see he had both in spades. Within minutes of watching him, I was on the phone with my lawyers to draw up contracts to sign him. I didn't need to speak with him first. When I knew I wanted someone it became a question of numbers. Enough zeros and people would do anything you wanted.

_Keeping _Edward on the team, however, was one of the hardest decisions I had ever faced. When I'd agreed it flew contrary to my better judgement. Just two months after he started with us, I found out he had started taking drugs. Being drug-free was the one thing I demanded from my drivers. He would have been off the team the instant I had proof...were it not for Alice. The little sprite knew I would do almost anything for her. Not only was she a damn fine race strategist-able to predict the weather and track conditions with eerie precision-but she was also my wife, Esme's, favourite niece. In truth, she was my favourite niece too, but because I couldn't be seen showing favouritism in the workplace, our familial ties were kept under wraps. To her credit, she almost never played the family card and never to save her own position on the team. She was such a good worker that she never needed to. The situation with Edward was the first time she had begged me to put what she wanted over what was best for the team. She had pleaded with me to turn a blind eye, promising she would sort him out and help get him off the drugs. I reluctantly agreed and only on the proviso that he be clean within a week.

At first, it seemed she had indeed helped him find his way back onto the right path. He never seemed quite as passionate as he had been that first time I'd seen him, but he managed to get the cars around the track fast and clean. He was quickly top of the field in the production series. When Garrett left the team, he'd opened the spot for a new V8 supercar driver. I tentatively offered Edward the position; after all, he had exceeded my expectation when he raced at Bathurst with Jasper. For the first year, it looked to be a great decision. He'd won the individual championship, and we had won the team championship. The bonus money and new sponsors were a terrific injection of cash, not to mention the boost to the overall team morale.

This year, that all changed. His promising career began its slow descent at Queensland Raceway - the site of his first crash. It was the first time since the incident with the drugs that he had let me down. It just got worse from there.

If it had just culminated with the crash at Bathurst and the disgusting public threesome, I may have brought him back next season. In fact, I hatched the plan to reunite him with his old high-school girlfriend to try to help. Alice had told me the little his mother had told her. Apparently, the two were close friends first and foremost and Alice assumed Edward was missing her. I hoped that reuniting them may have brought back that spark that he had been missing since his move to Sydney. But I hadn't anticipated the horrors of the end result.

I sat, staring at the magazine in the envelope in front of me. An early copy of a magazine that would go on sale tomorrow. Alice and Edward's photo stared at me, alongside photos of him with Bella, his childhood girl, and some unknown blonde. If it were just the women I might have been able to overlook it, especially considering I was absolutely certain nothing was going on between him and Alice. However, inside the covers of Gossip Weekly, _'Edward Masen's Wild week in Brisbane'_ was detailed over eight pages. Photos of a destroyed cafe and him being forcibly removed. An interview with a girl he had attacked at the cafe. Grainy security footage from a pub in Browns Plains together with photos of the poor man Edward had beaten there. Photos of him and Bella making out against the V8 race experience car, that _I _had organised for him. Finally, his night wining and dining with Volturi Racing and the events that happened there all glared at me from the glossy pages. The words spoke of his rampages, his continued public displays and his love-child.

As bad as I felt for the poor kid, I couldn't have him associated with my team. I could already imagine the phone calls I would receive from our more family-friendly sponsors. I couldn't keep him on, or they would jump ship. I couldn't risk his actions dragging the entire outfit down. A pre-emptive strike was required. My mind was set, and this time _no-one _could change it.

I watched Alice's small frame departing my office. I couldn't see her face anymore as it was buried in her hands, but the image of her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks as she begged me to reconsider would haunt me forever. I hated telling her no, but in this case I needed to. Edward Masen had to go.

I made some quick arrangements**,** and then I picked up the phone to make the call. "Edward, I need you back in Sydney..." I began.


	37. Chapter 43

**Chasing Victory Chapter 43**

- Emmett POV Reviewer Scene –

When I first found out that Edward was back, I couldn't believe that fucker had wormed his way back into my sister's life. I understood that they used to be madly in love or whatever, but he didn't have to see Bella during those horrible first few months after they broke up. She wasn't herself. She barely ate. Hell, she barely climbed out of bed most days.

The image of her in the bathroom when she told me she was pregnant will haunt me for the rest of my life. She was so frail she could barely stand up. I had done what a big brother is supposed to do. I had stood by her and supported her.

When we lost my nephew, Bella had understandably been utterly and completely devastated. It was painfully hard to watch. Edward had left her as a broken shell, and Emmanuel's death had finished the job. It was heartbreaking to see my once strong, sweet little sister in all kinds of pain. I wanted to take it all away from her, to make it all better, but I didn't know how.

With help from Rosalie and Mum, Bella slowly began to piece herself together again. But within a few months of her gradual rebuild I began to notice small things. Things that indicated she was unhealthily focused on Edward. After I had noticed it, it was impossible to miss. To begin with there were the phone calls and emails. When they went unanswered, it was the obsessive collection of any magazine he was in. And then Jake started to take her to the track - to teach her about racing. I sometimes wondered whether clinging to the past was the best way to help her through, but it was what she wanted.

I hadn't realised that the flight to London would change so much for her. But when Edward came to Brisbane it was just too much. My blood boiled at the thought of him coming in and breaking her again. And he would break her - I knew his type. Cocky assholes who think they can have any woman they choose. When Dad said Edward was coming over to pick up Bella for some date, there was no decision to be made. I had to do what big brothers do. I had to protect her - even if it was from herself.

Dad and I arranged a meeting spot where I would hide until we could draw Edward out somehow. We weren't going to resort to physical violence - unless we had to. My Baby Bells was too precious to be hurt by the low-life scum again.

And I was right.

It hadn't taken much convincing to get him ready to leave. If Bella hadn't come out when she had - I think he would have. But it wasn't until Bella wheeled, ready to confront Dad and me, that I realised how much fire she still had left in her. It was then I realised maybe, just maybe, I was wrong about how weak she'd been. She'd just poured all of her strength into loving that arrogant asshole.


	38. Chapter 44

**Chasing Victory Chapter 44**

- Alice POV Reviewer Scene –

When Uncle Carlisle called me into his office right before we were due to fly to Bahrain, I figured it was something to do with race preparation. The last thing I expected was for him to throw a magazine at me. Especially not one with a huge photo of me wrapped around Edward on the cover. I giggled at first - I found it awfully funny that anyone would think there was something romantic going on between Edward and I. He was like a kid-brother - I loved him, but geez he made me want to smack him upside the head sometimes too.

Carlisle sat across his desk from me. His shoulders were slumped, his face covered by his hands. I knew he wouldn't talk until I had. And I wouldn't talk until I had all the facts. I read through the article. My giggles died away, only to be replaced by small gasps of shock as I read through the blatant lies printed on the page. I shook my head in response to the bull-shit they had printed.

Once I was finished I dropped the magazine heavily onto Carlisle's desk. He looked up at me briefly, before turning his attention back to the cover.

"What the hell is that?" I asked.

"That is an advance copy of a magazine that will go on sale nationally tomorrow."

"No," I exclaimed. "You have to stop it!"

"I don't have power over the press, Alice. They are free to print what they like." He stood and walked across the room to stare out the window.

"But you can... you can get an injunction or something. You need to get them to stop this crap."

"Why?" he asked. His voice was like chilled poison.

"Because Edward doesn't need any more shit in his life right now! Trust me, Uncle C, if you knew what he was going through..."

"Don't tell me what he is going through!" Carlisle spun around on me. I stepped back, afraid of him for the first time ever.

"Please," I whimpered. "He's been through so much."

"He's out there wining and dining with our competition, stabbing me in the back despite all the chances I've offered him? Vincent Aro can have him."

"No!" I covered my mouth as soon as the exclamation had left it.

"The team will be better off without him on it."

I shook my head unbelievingly. "You don't mean that." My voice was fast becoming hysterical.

He turned away again. "I called you in to inform you of my decision regarding Edward... I know you two _were _friends. And I didn't want news to reach your ears while you were away."

"No! You have to give him a chance to explain. He's found out so much lately. I won't deny he's had a shit time lately. But that's hardly reason to get rid of him. You know over half that article is crap."

"I can't have a traitor in the team."

I felt my eyes begin to tear up. I couldn't bear the thought of Edward being thrown off the team. Not after everything else he'd been through lately. "I think that's taken out of contexts. Until you know the full story - "

He cut me off. "I'm sorry, Alice. My mind is made up."

"No!" I sobbed, tears were now flowing freely. "Please, Uncle Carlisle? Just _talk _to him."

"I told you, my mind is made up."

I was shocked, and I wasn't afraid to tell him so. "I can't believe you would let the media colour your opinion so heavily."

"Just leave, Alice, before one of us says something we might regret."

"Don't then... just don't do this. Please?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered one last time before grabbing a pile of paperwork and looking away. I knew the conversation was over. I ran from the room, my hands helplessly covering my tear-streaked face. I couldn't go to Bahrain, not anymore. Not after this.

I went to the bathroom and splashed my face with water. I tried to calm my breathing a little and then I picked up my mobile. I dialled Edward's number - and it went straight through to message-bank. Fuck!


	39. Chapter 45

**Chasing Victory Chapter 45**

- Reviewer Scene –

Some people are good at their jobs. Miss V was _great_ at hers. She was good at getting what she wanted and she was used to using any means necessary. Even if that meant manipulating situations to create a story. Getting the scoop on Edward Masen had been almost too easy. Even without the... added incentive... Vincent Aro had offered, she would have done a story on him. He was the perfect target - good looking and rich with a real wild, bad-boy streak and a mysterious past.

Because of his reputation it hadn't taken much to set him up in the club. It wasn't a secret it was a favourite bar of his; a place he regularly trawled for women. The number of star-struck, barely legal teens he had seduced there was beyond count. From there, it was just a matter of scoping out his preference and arranging it. It was quickly evident that he didn't like brunettes. Not one of his conquests during the months Miss V followed him were brunette. It was easy to tell what his type was - drunk and slutty. The easier - the better. He also seemed to exercise a policy of the more the merrier.

It was no coincidence that Miss V was in the club with a team of photographers from A.T. Entertainment. As soon as the call had come in that Edward Masen had crashed - again - she had packed up the car and driven to _Eclipse_ on a whim - it was almost as if she had a sixth sense about these things. The photographers did what they did best, blended into the background, while Miss V took to centre-stage and did what she did best.

She couldn't believe just how perfectly everything had aligned. She thought she had missed the boat after failing to get an interview with his ex-girlfriend in London, and when she quietly handed her card over to that simpleton Mike Newton, she hadn't expected to get a phone call from his wife. Lauren Newton had been only too keen to go on record and lie to get revenge for some slight. Miss V didn't care what the revenge was for - only what she could gain from it. Then to score the exclusive interview with Jessica Stanley on top was a double coup. During the interview, Miss V could easily tell that Edward Masen Senior was uncomfortable with what his mistress was saying about his son, but Jessica clearly held the power in that relationship.

Miss V was too excited. She knew that what she had written would likely ruin Masen's life, but she didn't think about it; she didn't like to think about uncomfortable things. Instead, she spent her time considering how lucky she was. She had been able to milk Edward Masen for two top-selling headlines. That was almost beyond her wildest dreams. In fact, the 'Edward Masen's Wild Week in Brisbane' cover was the highest selling issue of Gossip Weekly ever, which had led to bonuses at work on top of the money from Volturi Racing.

The money was nice - it would allow her to keep up her steady supply of high-quality clothing, expensive wine and silver service dinners - but the thrill of the chance was what really got Miss V off. After the first magazine cover, she had been so horny she'd fucked her lover all night long. The memory of that night would be enough to keep Miss V supplied with fantasies for life.

Probably the only regret that Miss V had was that the photographers had interrupted her fun just a little too quickly that night in _Eclipse_. She would have preferred to know whether the rumours about Edward Masen were true.


	40. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**_Edward Masen: Family Man?_**

_We sat down with former V8 supercar driver, Edward Masen, and his partner Bella Swan. Recently vilified by _Gossip Weekly_, Edward was open and honest about the circumstances surrounding his trip to Brisbane and the shocking discoveries that awaited him there. Only _Woman's Idea_ has the exclusive interview. _

_http:/s954__(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/ae21/missile-proof_glass/?action=view¤t;=WomansIdeaArticle0001(dot)gif_

_

* * *

_

I pulled the advance copy of the article from the envelope and read through it to ensure I was happy with the overall portrayal of both Bella and me. When negotiating the deal, Bella had ensured we had ultimate approval of the copy. It was the first time I had ever seen her in full 'lawyer mode' and I have to say I found it incredibly sexy. She was so commandeering and wouldn't back down as she negotiated with the legal team of _Woman's Idea _to ensure that we had a fair opportunity to tell our side of the story.

I smiled at the photos that accompanied the article. When I was driving, I had endured many photo-shoots, but none had been quite as fun as the one with Bella. I got to sit and do what I do best - love her with all of my heart.

After I knew I was happy with the spread, I slid the copy back into the envelope. One more pair of eyes needed to be cast over it before I would give final approval. Sure, getting Carlisle to look it over was brown-nosing. But I had a number of reasons for agreeing to the interview. Firstly I wanted to set the record straight about Bella, and our relationship, but my second, much more selfish, reason was to take another step in the direction of getting back behind the wheel of a V8. If that took a little bit of ass-kissing, I could care less.


	41. Random Jake Outtake

**A/N: *IMPORTANT* _This has not been seen by anyone before - it was not an outtake sent to reviewers, just some random bit of fluff that popped into my head. It contains a couple of small spoilers if you haven't started Claiming Victory yet (like the Sydney move) but the rest is just some fun I was having with Jake (and by "fun" I mean someone *glares at the person responsible LOL* gave me an idea and then Jake just wouldn't STFU! so I had to write it or go slightly insane. Now that he's had his say hopefully he'll gracefully move aside and let someone else have their say.)_**

**_It doesn't really fit into either Chasing Victory, or Claiming Victory. But the time-line would be somewhere between the last chapter of CV & the third chapter of CV2 _**

**_Warning: This outtake takes the first tenative steps towards slash. I'll never be a slash writer, and I don't purport to be, but if you are uncomfortable with slash in any sense please don't read on. If you are looking for full-on slash, go read something else. This just treads the fine line down the middle LOL. _**

**Claiming Victory Random Outtake**

-JPOV-

There was nothing on TV worth watching. I flicked idly through the channels, trying to find something worthy of my attention but still...nothing.

Just when I might have found something halfway decent, a mad pounding on my door pulled my attention away from the shit they called entertainment. I couldn't figure out who would be calling on me. Ever since Bella moved to Sydney with Edward I'd been a little lost. I had lost my best friend and the little terror. I smiled affectionately thinking about Phoebe. She was a little devil for her Mummy, but always a little angel for me. Bella used to get so frustrated about it, wishing that she had even one tenth of my ability to wrangle the monster.

Since they'd gone though, it was nothing but random boys knocking on my door. I'd gone out to a few clubs but just couldn't have a good time. I'd taken to spending my days with Sam and Emily. Truth be told, they were probably sick of me and my moping but, being family, put up with me anyway.

As I pulled open the door, my breath was stolen by the sight on my doorstep. Edward Masen stood not more than a metre from me. His untamed bronze hair shone slightly in the sun. The wind pushed through it, making it even more unkempt and yet somehow more perfect. His shirt was wrinkled and a little torn. The buttons were undone and hung open, revealing his chest and six-pack as well as the happy trail that lead all the way down to his...

I dragged my eyes back up to his face. That was when I saw the look of absolute devastation on his features. I quickly grew concerned; I could think of only one reason why he would look that bereft. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's Bella," he whispered, confirming the worst.

My heard thumped inside my chest in fear.

"She... she left me," his voice cracked on the last word.

I stood at the door watching him. "Why?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know," he mumbled, running his hands over his face. "She just said she couldn't do it anymore."

I stared at him, not sure what to say and uncertain why he had turned to me in his moment of need. I realised I had left him standing on my porch for far longer than was polite. "Would you like to come in?" I asked.

He blinked uncomprehendingly at first but eventually nodded slowly. I led him into the living room, closing the door after him. I guided him towards the couch. As soon as he hit it, he rested his arms onto his legs and doubled over to bury his head into his hands. "Why?" he asked.

I realised then was what he was looking for from me; answers.

I shrugged, even though he wasn't looking at me. "I haven't spoken to her lately," I said. "She never said anything about being unhappy."

"I didn't think we were," he whispered. "I thought we were happy. I thought we were perfect."

I nodded, completely unsure what to do. The only heartbreak I had witnessed before had been where I was the cause. l felt a little bit lost when faced with this god-like creature's desolation; especially knowing that it was at the hand of my best friend. There was only one thing I could think of that might help. "Would you like a beer?" I asked.

He sat up a little and stared at his hands before nodding slightly.

"I'll just go get one," I said, pointing at the kitchen. He didn't even look up at me, instead he just kept watching his fingers as he wrung them continuously. I found myself slightly transfixed by his long fingers too as they twisted around themselves.

I walked to the kitchen and spent a moment gathering my bearings. My best friend probably needed me. If she'd left Edward, she was probably hurting too. But I couldn't find it in myself to kick Edward out onto the street to go to her. I pulled two beers from the fridge, cracking them open. I took another deep breath before taking them back out to Edward.

"Here," I said, passing him one, before necking my own. I downed at least half the bottle in one swallow.

Edward raised his own bottle to his lips. I tried not to concentrate on the little 'o' his mouth formed as his lips closed around the neck. I sat beside him on the couch-my house wasn't really designed for entertaining almost-strangers.

I felt for Edward. I knew what it was like to have your heart trampled by someone you barely knew. I could only imagine the pain of losing someone who you thought was the love of your existence.

"I just don't know what more I could have done," he murmured. He had drained his beer, the empty bottle resting beside his foot on the floor. I downed the rest of mine and raced to the kitchen for some more.

He gratefully grabbed the second beer off me. After he'd taken a large slug, he leaned back in his seat. His open shirt fell off his stomach and draped onto the couch. I couldn't help but cast an approving eye over his chest but turned my eye away before he could catch me looking. I knew he was firmly on the other team. Legendarily so in fact. It was just my luck though, the hottest guy in the world was half naked on my couch and there was no chance of anything happening between us. I groaned a little in frustration, but, luckily, he didn't hear me.

We sat in silence, drinking, for the longest time. Occasionally he would utter a plea for understanding or a commiseration of lost love.

It wasn't long before the beer was buzzing through my system and I felt like I was flying on a cloud.

"Fuck her!" Edward exclaimed suddenly.

"Fuck her?" I asked. "You're in pain and that's the conclusion you come to?"

He smiled wryly at me. "I forgot about her once. I can do it again."

I shook my head. "But you didn't, did you?"

He chuckled darkly. "Not really."

He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. I was captivated by the way his lips parted slightly as he breathed in and out. As I watched, his tongue pressed forward and trailed along his lips. I needed to know what it felt like.

"Edward?" I asked, the alcohol emboldening me.

He raised his head and looked at me. The red that rimmed his eyes only served to make me long for him more. "Hmm?" he queried his eyes slightly unfocused.

"In all your experience..." I stopped, uncertain exactly how to continue. "Have you... would you..."

"Spit it out would you?" he said.

I couldn't help laughing at his unintended pun. I shook my head, I knew he'd never tell me what I wanted to hear. "Never mind."

He turned his whole body toward me. His shirt hanging open in just the right way to show off his chiselled chest. I sighed as my eyes trailed involuntarily along his chest and stomach. This time, it was me licking my lips.

"Tell me," he said. His lips almost formed a genuine smile.

I shook my head.

"I can make you," he said, raising one eyebrow.

I sighed. "I'd like to see you try."

He chuckled. "You know, that was once an intriguing concept for me?"

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

"I thought you were the reason I had such trouble getting back together with..." he trailed off and his eyes grew sad again.

I wanted to take his mind off Bella. I didn't like the way the look of sorrow on his features when he thought about her. "You know, I still can't believe how unlucky you were at the drags."

He laughed. "Unlucky? My car fucking flew that night. God knows how I managed to pull that time out of my ass." He turned melancholy again. I wondered what he was reminiscing about-whatever it was it was having an obvious reaction in his body as his not-so-little man stood firmly to attention.

"Edward, I..." I wanted to tell him that I wanted him. That I'd always wanted him. That I had been incredibly jealous of Bella when she'd shown me photos of the two of them together. I wanted to know what he tasted like. What he felt like. I wanted to know every part of him, to taste every inch. I just wasn't sure how to say the words without sending him running. I decided not to say anything at all, and to just show him instead.

I reached out with my hand, gently cupping his face. I closed the distance between us quickly, and he didn't resist. I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth radiating from his lips. My lips parted in readiness to taste him. Our lips connected with a spark, sending emotions crashing down over me. He responed to me in kind, his lips pliantly twisting with my own. But it wasn't enough. I needed more of him.

I leaned forward further until I suddenly felt myself falling and hit the floor with a resounding thud. I sat up quickly and looked around me. The TV was on, blasting some random shit that didn't matter. What did matter was that Edward wasn't in the room. He was nowhere in the house. No doubt he was holed up in bed with Bella; kissing _her_ and making love to _her_ body. For me, he was nothing more than a lingering fantasy that made me burn equally with lust and shame. I climbed back onto the couch before reaching down and palming myself. As I began to stroke lightly, I tried to recall the perfect dream I was having before being so rudely awoken.f


End file.
